42 - emailing drinking DH trying to fix it: Update

[theansweris42]

Thank you MN.
Am in new little house. It's been refurbished on the cheap and it's tiny but it's like a bloomin palace.
Moved out with man n van this morning, am absolutely shattered. H did nowt.
THANK YOU for telling me I deserve more and for being persistent and patient.
I realise lots about myself that is hard to know, and needs addressing, but I know now I can say "no" (the magic word) and that I don't just have to be grateful for affection.
I feel strongly I wouldn't have left without MN or it would've taken much much longer.
Thank you

Well done!! I remember your last thread well - so pleased that things have started to improve for you. You deserve a huge amount of happiness.

Thank you naice and kitten

Well done for getting into a new home.

This is the start of a better life for you and your children.

Sure is attila thanks for your support

Well done OP.
A fresh start for you.
Welcome to your fabulous, abuse free life!
Enjoy it. Enjoy discovering who you are.

Thank you hellsbells
I'm still processing the thought that relationships don't have to be that way and that I can be properly happy

Posting as I go along. Went back to other house to clean today, felt nervous driving up. H packing, slowly, tidily, cos he's got all the time in the world. He didn't help me at all as I packed and moved with 2 DC.
This split is about him drinking and he's meant to be addressing it and we'll try again.
I just feel he's not at all going to work on drinking. He doesn't see it as a problem.
And he doesn't see his marriage as worth making changes for.
I find it just unbelievable that anyone would watch someone they "love" struggle physically with moving things to a van and sit there (with vastly superior strength) and play the fucking long term game on the phone.
This is night 2 for us in new home. DC have asked for H, feel so bad cos they'd already adapted to not living with their dad.
Argh.

well done and good luck. I moved ..hopefully for the last time...last week...just me and dc's. ..knackered but happy a feeling I haven't had in a long time....stbxh choose drink and ow over his kids...taken years to see the abuse and selfishness.
Enjoy your home and feather that best
..that's the best bit...you decide how you want it! Good luck

Thanks onanotherday am glad you're out too. Really looking forward to getting our home nice and just how we want it with no-one around constantly putting themselves before us. for you

Glad to see you've made such a positive step theanswer! You will definitely feel better soon! Its so hard to see how these people can be so selfish, to understand what goes through their head to justify their me, me, me behaviour...

Hopefully he will see the light soon and get some help, but if he doesn't you and the DC are in the best place aka away from his destructive behaviour!

Aw thanks sky - away from destructive behaviour is where we all need to be!