Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Emotional affair

10 replies

DollyPS · 27/09/2016 11:09

Can a relationship recover from one even if it was years ago and discovery was made a few weeks ago from finding a letter.

.

OP posts:
Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 27/09/2016 11:15

Not for me it couldn't.

LucyLocketLostIt · 27/09/2016 11:16

From what I've heard, it's possible but very hard work and things will be different between you if you do get through it.

redisthenewblack · 27/09/2016 11:17

I don't think there's a black and white answer to this. I think it very much depends on the individuals involved and the relationship as a whole.

How do you feel about it?

artlessflirt · 27/09/2016 11:22

I think it depends on the relationship, the depth of the EA and the circumstances surrounding it.

I really do believe that before you even begin thinking about recovering the relationship you have to get it straight in your head about how it makes you feel, whether you can live with it moving down the line, if you can recover trust, etc.

SheldonsSpot · 27/09/2016 11:25

For me, no, as from the point of the EA onwards the whole relationship has been built on a lie, with one person (the 'wronged' partner) not in possession of the true facts/true history of their own relationship.

I think I could work through an affair if I found out about it at the time, but in this scenario there are years of deceit and the whole relationship, everything that as been built since the EA is tainted.

Original poster
DollyPS · 27/09/2016 12:13

I'm angry and hurt over it all.
He claimed he didn't know what an emotional affair was.
He thought they where friends yeah ok but to talk to her on the phone for ages. To confide in her not me you get the picture. I'd would have found it easier if he fucked her as this is harder to recover from.

I know it was a long time ago but its like a wound has been opened and its hard to heal if it ever heals.

OP posts:
artlessflirt · 27/09/2016 12:16

Oh, Dolly Flowers

Do you think some time apart might give you some time to get your head around it and see a way forward, either with or without him?

User14625592 · 27/09/2016 12:19

It depends how happy I was currently. If still not overly happy then no. If happy then I would give it a try.

hangingoutattheendofmywick · 27/09/2016 12:33

only you know the answer to that question. Don't listen to him or anyone else. Listen to you and decide if you can ultimately forgive / understand.

TheNaze73 · 27/09/2016 12:52

Can only be your call OP

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread