This is my first post but it was reading this board that made me leave my relationship back in April. I don't know what I'm looking for here really but the past couple of months I've been tentatively describing the relationship as abusive but I feel like maybe I'm massively overreacting and still feeling worried incase it gets out that I've said so and could damage his career etc.
Background: were together for 2 1/2 years, living together for the last one, no kids.
He has a bad temper and jealousy issues. Huge issues with old boyfriends of mine. Made me tell him who they were their names etc. Made lots of comments like 'why would you go out with someone as ugly as them?', I shrugged it off. Then proceeded to making me tell him how many people I'd slept with, shouting at me 'tell me or I'll leave you' and then when I told him he said he was so disappointed as he thought I 'wasn't like that' (he'd slept with 4X more people than me). Me or my family were not allowed to mention ex boyfriend's names, mum did once (relationship was 10 years ago when I was 18) and he got pissed and was vile to me and her, told me 'well my ex was a model so how does that make you feel?'.
He would lose his temper a lot and call me lazy, selfish, boring. If I ever got a Facebook message off a male friend he'd be like 'he's clearly interested in you you must be giving off a vibe that you're single or interested' in the end stopped having male friends as couldn't be arsed with the hassle.
He never hit me but he did things like grab my phone and throw it, smashed his fist through a shed window. There was an incident with him punching an ex of mine that I hadn't spoken to in 4 years.
I'd cry over these huge arguments for days and he'd apologise then go back on it, then apologise then go back on it, over and over till I was so exhausted and confused that I didn't know what way was up.
Finally got the courage to end it and obviously we hid a lot of it well as my parents in particular had no idea the extent to which it got and dad still doesn't get it really (he's my age but was an acquaintance of my dads and my dad really liked him).
It all sounds bad on paper but obviously he had good points too, he looked after me a lot with my mental health issues, and it makes me think maybe I've just read too much on here and am applying it to me when I shouldn't be. I'm very confused. I feel a lot happier now and freer but feel like a fraud when categorising myself as 'was maybe in a slightly emotionally abusive relationship' when maybe he was just jealous and a bit damaged (he was depressed for a while). What do you think? Thanks xx