BF wants marriage but not to live together

[witchhazelblue]

Been with my BF just over a year and things have been going well. We've both been married before and both have kids from those marriages and have always been on the same page about how neither of us felt the need to get married again. We don't live together and have always agreed that it's nice to get together but also to have our 'own space'.

Fairly recently I've noticed his attitude seems to have shifted slightly (him mentioning marriage in a positive light, joking about asking me to marry him in the future). We went for a meal last week and he said something along the lines of maybe we could get married in the future but not living together all the time.

I think he's trying to 'feel out' how receptive I'd be to getting married (and actually, I'm starting to like the idea myself...which surprises me) but an arrangement of a married couple not living together seems really unusual. I admit I'm feeling a bit confused. Would it ever work? Does anyone know of couples who live like this? And any advice for me?

Married but living apart - so why get married?

You will have double the bills/mortgage etc.... sorry it seems daft to me to get married to someone and live in separate dwellings.

YY to living apart!

All the good bits, none of the shitty day to day tedium.

PP mentioned Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton - an ideal set up.

Been with my OH for 10 years, got married last year. We live together half the week. It really suits us.

I won't go into long details but I'd spent longish periods living on my own before we met and liked it. He was recently separated and liked his own space. We have 3 children between us, he has 2, I have 1 (since before I met him). We didn't want to force the children into a new family living arrangement. Though they don't live together (his kids adults now) they consider themselves to be siblings.

In our early years people used to comment on us not being committed to each other. We are hugely committed but we love our own space.

I know that most people find us very unconventional but we're not. We're very ordinary, humdrum, monogamous. We just need our own space!

"We're very ordinary, humdrum, monogamous. We just need our own space!"

That's us too, crisp .

I didn't mention in my post upthread that we live very close to one another, a 5 minute walk. In fact quicker to walk than to bother getting in the car! I'm not sure it would work for us quite so well if we lived in separate towns or something like that.

That sounds amazing. I'd love that!