30 day no contact/ opening up for happiness

[Unrequitedlove]

Hello! Is anyone from previous threads here still? (I've name changed) how are we all doing?

How's everybody feeling? After almost a month the knot in my stomach is lessening and I can almost see light at the end of the tunnel. Time really is the only healer.

Moved out. I agree, very slowly getting better truly didn't believe I'd get to where I am.. it can only get better

I posted only a couple of posts on the old tread but just wanted to post a little update.

Following the split I decided to try to change aspects of my life I could actually control so I went job hunting (something I wanted to do for a long time but kept dragging my heels.) Anyway after a hand full of interviews bagged myself a new role. Looking back now my life has changed so much over the last six months. I still think about him occasionally but not all that often anymore. Concentrating on other areas of my life has definitely helped.

Hope you are all feeling a bit better now.

Malibu. I was just thinking about this thread today. congratulations on your new role and good that you're moving on.
I enrolled on a course which I ave nearly finished now but it has been a good distraction and has forced me to concentrate rather than thinking about him. The passing of time has helped. I counted this morning its 16 weeks since I last saw him..
I still don't feel over the whole experience but I'm much better than I was.
How is everyone else doing?

I totally believe that it helps to throw oneself in to something totally different. Hope you are all ok.

Hey all. I've just done 30 days and then Saturday we were both at the same party I thought he'd be there so was prepared he knew I'd be there. It worked exactly how I hoped he was straight to my side telling me he was sorry and have missed me, saying he'd written lots of messages but not sent them because I'd said not to contact me. He'd kept them in a file on his phone really sweet messages full of love and affection. I'm not sure if it's the 30 day rule or just a coincidence but we are back together and I'm feeling happy again.

I need to jump in on this. I need some hand holding. Been with X since I was 14, I'm now 24 and we have two boys together (4 & 1). We have been going through a real rough patch past few years. We keep practically fucking each other over by having EA's and not fair on anyone. Don't know if we are both bored. He's left and gone back to his moms (despite us owning a house together) but is still paying the mortgage. He's been gone 5 weeks now and i would say every 3 days I break down and beg him to come back. He says he can't because we will just hurt each other again. So we have said no contact now until the 12th Nov. Really it needs to be 30 days so I want to turn round on 12th and say no, I need more time to really really think this through. I'm on AD's its affected me that bad - I'm struggling to move on. Him leaving has made me realise how much I do love him and that I want the family life - yet now he's got his freedom which he's never ever had, he's out every night at the pub with his mates etc - yep we settled down young and bought a house at 21. I just want to be happy again. So day 1, I swear to myself no more crying, and begging. It is what it is. When I get the urge I will come back on here and I need the strength not to contact him!!!!

Hi Alice - do NOT contact him and please don't beg - you are worth far more. Have you read The Break Up Bible by Magda B Brajer? My friend bought me it and it's been a massive help. I've just done a whole month - got dumped after five years from out a nowhere at the end of Sept. It WILL get better, I promise! Just hang on in there.

I will have to have a look at that book - yeah it's killing me. Oh no you poor thing 5 years is such a long time - how are you feeling now ? Just feels like I'm never going to move on and each day is a struggle

I am pining for him so bad this can't be normal. We really really hurt each other though. I'm just constantly wondering what he's doing, how he's feeling etc

Hi, you will feel better, I swear. It's just five weeks for me and I still hate it, but I have kept beyond busy - almost to the point of madness. Your pining is completely normal alas, but it will fade. Just get through each day one by one, 'just for today' is a good mantra I find. Know that other people have felt, and are feeling, your awful raw pain, and that you are not alone. And post a lot!

Day 1 over. I know it's only day 1 but everyone starts somewhere right? We have two children together so we've said kid talk only. He collected ds1 today from school. I text him to pre-warn him I'm on my way to collect ds1 as we agreed we wouldn't see each other now as hurts. He then text back going "ok u start ur new job today?". I never text back. I pulled up outside and he sent my 4 year old out on his own so I didn't have to see my X. I originally text my BiL asking to bring my son out to me but BiL said he has the flu in bed and that me and X need to face each other. So day 1 done. As the days go on I know it's going to get worse. Always does, that's why I cave at about 3 days in. I resisted driving past his house today though tonight. I've got to do this for my own sanity !!!! I find I'm at my worst in the morning

I also need some hobbies. any ideas what I can do to keep myself busy?

I'm still waking up at all hours with that heavy chest feeling and panicking - ideas how to make it stop?

Hi can I join you? Split up with my ex mid September. NC for about two and a half weeks now. Previous contact was initiated by me.
I miss him sooooo much. I have facebooked stalked and I no it doesn't help but just want anything for a connection.
I loved him so much and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I just feel so rejected and hurt and confused.
I wrote him an email last night after wine but luckily didn't send (checked my outbox this morning - phew)
I just can't accept that it was the right thing to do, breaking up

I know the feeling!!! Hurts so much and each day is a struggle but we can do this!!! Did you have kids together ? I still have to communicate for the children

No kids - so no contact 😿

Hi been reading this thread for a while and been on and off in the relationship. I think it's finally over, I've got to go no contact we just go round and round in this awful roller coaster. It's just been so exhausting and I can't face a party on the weekend with happy secure people who have ended up with the loves of their life

Hi everyone, thought I'd revive this thread. Is anyone going through NC at the moment? I'm on day 3 🙈