Please help - what to tell family

[Gabby99]

I've separated from DH. He is a good man but the marriage is loveless and sexless. After a number of years of trying, I've decided it would be best to separate and remain friends. My family are the problem. They can't accept reality and are assuming the separation is only temporary until we "resolve things". I don't particularly want to tell them the reasons ... it's private and personal to myself and DH. My family don't rate love and would see a marriage descending into a sister/brother relationship as quite normal (in my family). We met very young and have been married for 25 years. It's my DH who doesn't want sex anymore ... I just can't face the rest of my life without intimacy, no physical/emotional closeness, no hugs, cuddles, no touching. I can't bear it. I've told them it's my decision and to please accept I wouldn't end things without a good reason. What more can I say?

Nothing more is needed. They need to respect your decision. If they don't, don't even entertain conversations about it

Don't think there is much more you can say other than to respect your decision for some privacy at this difficult time. You could say that the reasons are personal and are for you and H to deal with only. Or that neither of you are happy together anymore and it's not fair to stay together and be miserable. Do you have any DCs?

Thanks for the replies. Yes, we have 3 DC's who are late teens. It's a very hard thing for me to do but I feel I have given all I can. I agree with you both, there really is nothing more I can say. It's a very personal matter and it would be a betrayal of DH to go into specifics. My family are hard work!

Does it matter if they think it is temporary? Does it impact you, other than being irritating?

No, it doesn't matter really. If I stick it out they will have to come to terms with it (eventually). They just can't believe I'm leaving a "good man". The love is gone on both sides, it's sad but I think it's better to admit it's over and move on. Separation / divorce doesn't feature in my family so it's hard for them to get their head around what I am doing.