Match.com

[InvoluntaryCelibacy]

It's awful! Can I get a refund? The only messages I've received are from men 10+ years my senior, the rest visit my profile and ignore it. What was the point in paying £20 to be messaged by old men, I could have got that for free on POF.

I feel like my love life has ended. I'm only 28 but noone can be bothered to message me because they think they can do better. If I was a single guy at 28 I'd be having the time of my life! Fuck this planet


(I have noone to talk to in RL so I thought I'd express how I feel on here hope that's okay)

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

Well I met DH on Match and he is younger than me so def look at your profile. And good luck

[InvoluntaryCelibacy]

MoreGilmoreGirls should I lists things I like and dislike? Can't really say much about my personality coz if I had a good one I wouldn't be in this lonely mess!

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

I'm sure you do have a personality, try not to be too hard on yourself. I was single for quite some time. Yes put your likes and dislikes, I believe an early conversation I had with DH was around particular films we both liked. Make sure your pics show your best features.

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

Oh and if I were you I'd try and get out and about and make some new friends. Can you get a child minder so you could take up a new hobby?

[TrickyBiscuits]

I de-regged on Match before I paid as I immediately started to receive grim span

[CalleighDoodle]

If you dont have rime for dun anymore and are looking for a serious no-fun relationship i can see why youre not getring much interest!

[PopFizz]

Jesus one day?! And you've favourited two and expected a reply?!

Right. In all seriousness. Lower your expectations and speed.

You wouldn't chat to every single man you pass in the street. You wouldn't expect every single man you smiled at in a club to return it. You would expect to meet the guy you will date within two seconds of walking out your front door.

Just as a bit of a longer term measurement.... I was OLD with two short (three month) relationships for four years before I met DP. I must have chatted to more than fifty guys, liked the same again who didn't reply, went on a date with about twenty. DP was on there three weeks and I was the third person he met. Arse.

But its not something overnight. Don't go looking for a long-term relationship straight from the get go. Date and meet people first.

[PopFizz]

^wouldnt expect to meet. Bloody lack of editing on posts

[everythingis]

Lovely not lovely! Argh

[BlasianFashionista]

InvoluntaryCelibacy It's only been one day give it time I'm sure someone will come along soon.

And sorry, I didn't think dating sites have refunds

[PushingThru]

Give her a break - she doesn't want to meet men 10 years older than her, so what?!

[jeaux90]

Single mum here too and I think it makes you super cautious. I used match for a while but met some really good guys off a rather badly named site called mumsdatedads. One of them is a really good friend still. I thought match was a bit pants so maybe try some of the more niche sites. So yes some good tips from the others, full length profile shot is good, take a look at your summary etc, and send out some winks. And...toughen up, OLD is brutal at times but I have met some great people and had some fun. Yes consider a slightly older age range but you are right to be cautious, I dated someone ten years older than me last year (I am 44) and there was little in common in terms of music etc. He also wanted a wife, I am not wife material :) so be clear about what you are looking for.

Lastly, I know it's tough and lonely being a single parent to a little one, it's gets a lot easier believe me, big hug xxx

[AnyFucker]

You sound like you have a personality to me !

And joking aside, if you don't want to meet an older man then that is your choice of course. I wouldn't rule it out though. The pool you are looking in may include divorced men with kids of their own. How does that sit with you ?

Personally (and I way out of this demographic so feel free to ignore me) if I were a single mum of 28 I would expect some baggage and would be looking for blokes in similar situations to myself.

I wouldn't be too impressed with men specifically looking for women with children if they didn't have their own. That would kinda creep me out

[InvoluntaryCelibacy]

MoreGilmoreGirls I've been going to parent and baby groups for 2 years but i've not met anyone so far. Thought I did go to the park with one of the mum's last week. I don't know how to make a mum relationship go any further - she doesn't seem like a wine-mum :D I went to the gym for a year too but the woman I spoke to the most left! 'Tis a shame she offered me a job too (sort of) I miss that lady.

Tricky Did you receive spam messages or emails? :S

Calleigh I know i'm pretty boring but if I find someone then i'd have someone to go and do stuff with :D

PopFizz I've had a few more messages seeping in since I've posted this so yeah you're right! It's just it's been 2 years now that i've been on my own and it feels like forever. I've gotten so used to being single that I can't imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship again.

jeaux oh I think i'm too clear what i'm looking for :D i'll have to appear more laid back. Everyone around me is getting married and having second kids and i'm just here like :( I don't even know how to date as a single mum. Before i'd just go out, meet someone, spend a few days at theirs getting to know them, going out for meals. Now all I have is a set time limit say 3/4 hours in an evening. It's just all so different and.. structured.

[InvoluntaryCelibacy]

AnyFucker I supposed I don't mind divorced but I'd like to try out the marriage thing one day so I'd hope for them not to be against it. I definitely don't mind if they have kids, even better if they do then we could do play dates :D Ha yes If anyone questions me about my daughter too much it does give me the heeby jeebies!

[jeaux90]

structured yes, as a single parent we have to have that in spades. Our kid and work is priority. Dating is your chance to let your hair down so maybe open up to using several different sites at a time and also slightly older guys? Learning about someone through dating is just different, it does tell you an awful lot about their levels of patience and lifestyle though. thats a different story :) up the anti and get going on more of them. Get some candidates, that's the first hurdle :) ....I know it must be hard finding time to do more social stuff like sports etc so get more apps on your phone instead!

[InvoluntaryCelibacy]

jeaux90 I first started on POF. I ran away from my first date (was SO nervous). I've had a few dates since then but, yeah, nothing came of anything. I feel like i'm a bit more ready now and i'm wasting my youth if I don't try and meet someone. I don't mind older just not 50 year olds like some of the men who have messaged me, they're older than my parents!

[Mar15mite]

I was a single mum from 21 to 27 then met DH (IRL through work rather than OLD) he is my age and didn't have any kids of his own. We have now been together for 7 years and married 4. I remember feeling like you do now very well.

My DD is now 12 and our DS is 3 months. DH treats DD like his own.

It will happen, just don't take it to seriously along the way

[TheNaze73]

Give it time & smoke the peace pipe op. You sound frenetic!

There are exceptions to the rule however, men are generally attracted to younger women, people have posted stats on here before. You're only young yourself, so take your time with this.

[PanGalaticGargleBlaster]

OP, you are allowed to message men as well.

[PastoralCare]

Of course you are getting messages from men much older than you.

Look at the data from OKCupid. i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/09/10/1410381550258_wps_8_Dating_Graph_COMPOSITE.jpg

Women look for men close to their age.

Men of any age are interested in women in the low twenties.

As for a refund... I wouldn't bother.

[InvoluntaryCelibacy]

Mar15mite Thank you for sharing your story! It has given me hope

TheNaze73 Ha :) I have quit smoking. Maybe I should take it up again?