DH and I are in a real mess relationship wise and I don't know what to do anymore. We have two lovely children, 5 and 2 and things are just piling up and we can't stand each other anymore.
We are living in a very stressful situation, have in fact for several years ever since our first child was born and have not coped with the stress very well at all.
It all started just before our first child was born. We bought a house that is in a real state of repair and all these years we have been trying to get on top of it and fix it, which has been going extremely slowly. It has been nightmarish to live in these conditions for so many years, we've never had enough storage space for all our clothes, our kitchen is literally falling apart as is our bathroom. On top of that, neither of us have any family living nearby, and we have had absolutely zero help from anyone and it's always the four of us day in day out. By the end of the week we are both exhausted and it's difficult to find the energy to get on top of things.
All this time I have been a stay-at home mom, whilst my HD has been working very hard, running his own business. We also had a family bereavement and my older child has had some health problems.
Just under a year ago, before Christmas I found out that my husband had been cheating on me with prostitutes. I was shocked and disgusted. In our discussions it turned out that he had been using sex as a way of coping with stress, and since I wasn't giving that relief to him, he had reasoned it in his own mind, that that was the best thing to do. He said he didn't want to look for an affair as to him this was a bigger betrayal. I don't know how to explain it, but I understood his point of view and stayed together even though I strongly disagree with infidelity and prostitution in general. It might sound crazy, but since I have not been interested in sex much with all that has been going on, I can see his thought process. As far as I know he hasn't done it again and we have been very open about the whole thing and our feelings.
But things between us are not any better. We fight all the time and there is a lack of respect on both sides. We have both tried counselling, albeit separately, and I cant say it helped much. We would have been open to relationship counselling, but we have absolutely no-one who could look after the children when we are out. It is literally just the two of us. Always. We do have friends, and we do socialise, but in terms of support we are alone.
Today we had a huge fight again, and I said to him I don't know if I want to carry on anymore. He offered to move out and have a break. I don't know what to do. If he moves out, I am left with a half-finished house and all the childcare to deal with by myself. Not to mention the effect it will have on the children. They will be questioning where daddy has gone, and what is going on. He is a great dad, and has a very close relationship with the children.
Also I don't know how I would cope if we divorced. He literally is the only support I have. I am a professional person, but could not afford to pay for childcare and finish off the house. The car we have is under his name, and he needs it for work, so that would go too.
I need help!! Any advice please??