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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Upset with DH. Am I overreacting?

28 replies

itunscrewstheotherway · 24/09/2016 22:17

Not really sure if Relationships is the right place to post this - just wanted to avoid AIBU.

DH has a history of doing things I consider unsafe with the dc (who are 6 and 2). Essentially just not supervising them enough when he's got them on his own.

Today, he took them out with another boy (age 5) while I was at work, as a sort of favour to the boy's mum. Soon after picking the boy up, the boy legged it round a corner. DH has just told me that he left our 2 year old standing in the 'very quiet' road while he went round the corner - i.e. where he couldn't even see our ds - to get the boy.

I'm absolutely fuming. He's done things I think are stupid before this is the worst. I don't care how quiet the road was. He left a toddler out of sight in a road.

He told me in a tone that suggested he was expecting me to say "well that was a bit silly" or something like that. Now seems to think i'm overreacting. Am I?! Maybe I am?! If I am then I could do with being told so because I am so angry right now.

He says he didn't think it through and regrets it, but that doesn't make it any better to me because his instinctive reaction was therefore to desert our toddler to go and retrieve this other significantly older boy.

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 24/09/2016 23:17

I think you are being unreasonable.

He told you because he knew he had made a mistake and felt bad about it. He expected you to agree that he made a mistake.

Everyone makes dumb ass decisions with children sometimes. Normally you tell your spouse and have a shared head in hands moment.

Your reaction sounds massively over the top to him trying to talk to you about his mistake, that he knew was a mistake which is why he was telling you about it. He could have kept quiet. The 2 year old wasn't going to dob him in was he?

Your example of door locking at night meaning he's an irresponsible fuckwit makes you sound like a micromanaging obsessive. Not locking doors at night is actually quite normal for lots of people.

If he started a thread about your carry on over this, there'd be LTB mutterings.

Atenco · 24/09/2016 23:32

Everyone makes dumb ass decisions with children sometimes. Normally you tell your spouse and have a shared head in hands moment

I think this is true. I also hate having someone go on and on about a mistake of mine. Surely the only point in saying anything is for the other person to understand properly, the rest is self-indulgence.

kissingJustForPractice · 25/09/2016 01:03

What RunRabbit said, everyone was ok, lessons have been learned, move on.

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