Had an email today from my stbxh requesting that I meet up with him this weekend to discuss "things". As per usual he has dictated the time, place etc, however I am working so can't make the designated time.
From past experiences, I know that he wants to meet to brow beat me into agreeing to mediation and thus accepting a settlement that would not benefit me or our children. He has already decided what he wants!
My solicitor does not recommend mediation, our relationship was emotionally and financially abusive and having given up my career to look after the children etc my earning potential is nowhere near his. He is fighting payment of spousal maintenance even in the short term, says he sees no reason why he should "keep" me. I do work but part time and flexibly as our youngest has a chronic illness that requires frequent hospital visits and doctor's appointments, so there is no way at the moment that I could work full time aside from the fact that I have suffered from severe anxiety and depression myself and my GP thinks I will crack again if I put myself under anymore stress.
I don't want to meet him, we had have had a few weeks over the summer completely no contact and that did me a world of good. He is now back on the scene though and comes to the house to potter in the garden and garage whenever he feels like with little or no warning. I have asked him to let me know in advance if he needs to come round but he will text when he has arrived and is sitting in his car outside.
He is not, so far, violent but I still feel very intimidated by him, he talks at rather than to me, won't listen to or dismisses anything I have to say, then emails or texts me later with a summary of what "we" have agreed even though I have done my damnedest to make him hear that I do not agree.
I really just want to email him and tell him that I don't want to see him (preferably never again) and to just put whatever he wants to tell me in an email but I worry that he will sense that I am still afraid of him and that it will play straight into his hands.. I would also feel guilty doing this, I know he was shocked and hurt when I told him I wanted a divorce. He hasn't taken anything I said in the run up to him leaving on board nor did he try and fix it and has made out to all and sundry that this came totally out of the blue and he has done nothing wrong! After 20+ years of thinking I was going mad I finally realised it wasn't me but there is still a part of me that doesn't want to upset/anger him as I worry about the consequences of doing so.
Apologies for the length of this post, I guess what I really want are opinions on whether I should just suck it up and meet him or tell him I don't want to see him?