DH keeps trying to get me to the gym.

[Brushes]

Hi,

My DH keeps doing subtle digs. I have a DD, gave birth 4 months ago. I do have a gym membership, which I did before I had her.

He started with the "I know you used to like going, so go and have a swim, I'll look after her" and I assumed he was being nice. Whenever I said I didn't fancy it, he just kept going on about how I would enjoy it, so I recently went back to just doing the swimming.

He now goes on about how it's been 4 months, so would be good to start getting back into the gym. I don't feel like it, I get up every night to do the feeds (I obviously don't mind) so I sometimes just don't fancy getting up first thing.

He's a PE teacher, so is always around fitness, but I'd rather he didn't try and push it on me.

I can just about get back into my clothes, yes they're a bit tight, as I do have a few pounds to go, but I don't need the constant nudges about getting back into the gym

I don't have kids, but I am a bit larger than I would like to be. I'd totally wear certain maternity clothes if I had them though. I've got my eye on some nice elasticated belly band/kidney warmers.

But that's irrelevant. Your body has just been through a massive ordeal. If I'd had abdominal surgery of any kind I'd anticipate leaving it 6 to 12 months before exercising properly again. And I'd be getting a decent night's kip.

Do tell your husband why it's wrong. Do do what you want to, when you want to. If you want to. Assuming this is about he wants you to look rather than any kind of legitimate health concern, it isn't any of his damn business.

Seeyou keeps posting stuff like this on threads involving weight or body image. its deliberate.

Seeyou if my DH decides he "wants his wife back " i would have to regain ten stone.

Do you advocate i do this then?
Your posts are deliberate misogyny.

its sounds to me like you are doing mighty fine, you are back in your clothes after only four months. You will probably return to exercise, but it needs to be on your terms, when your body is fully recovered and I believe this takes time.

see you wtf? when dp met me I was a trathlete and a ex (my country) champion in a sport I had done for years since childhood. Funny enough after popping out a human being, gaining weight and becoming inactive due to the pressures of motherhood not once did he " want his wife back" I was there, stressed out feeling like shit and keeping my head just above the water. So you know what he didn't do?.pressure me to exercise and diet, do you know what he did do? He was a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand and a loving father to his son. Even if it ment driving 4hours after being up the past 72 in a muddy cold field, he would drive to get to me to take over.

Wants his wife back....pffft, he can have the fucking door slammed in his face with that attitude.

My youngest was 18 months before I felt any urge to go to the gym. 4 years later I need exercise. But it's all on my terms. Tell him to fuck off. Or do half of the night feeds. Tit.

I was back exercising after 4 months, but that's because I WANTED TO. It's important to me and my personal well being.

If DH had said I shouldn't be going or didn't want me too I would have probably verbally ripped his head off while ushering him to the door.

I've been urging DH to get active (he's got a bit of a belly) not because I'm not attracted to him (He's still a sexy beast) but because heart problems run in his family, he carries his fat around the middle and those things don't mix with long term health. However, I'm not forcing him or pressuring him (he goes some days, not others, that's fine) and I'm making it very clear it's because I want him around for a long time.

However, DH hasn't just had a baby, and I'm not making subtle jabs about it or beating around the bush to try and guilt him into going.

Another one here for leaving him with the baby. Gym kit happily in boot of car. Go to the sauna, sit in the pub with a mate, sit in the jacuzzi, go for slap up meal. Wtf does he get off. 4months is nothing. My DS just started reception and I'm just starting to get back into exercising. Get him to carry a watermelon round 24/7 for 9 months poo it out of his ass, (should be fairly stretchy given the amount he seems to talk out of it) then wake him up every 2 hours to feed it for several months. Sign him up for a marathon and tell him to jog on

I would literally just say "no. I don't want to." And if he pushed it I would say "fuck off".

OP - tell him you will go to the gym as long as he gets up to do the night feeds ... Bet he'll give you a break then

Or do as others have said, say you're going to the gym, walk in there, swipe your card, walk out and go shopping instead

It's a bit off topic but it is important to bear in mind that your ligaments may not be back to normal yet. If you do go to the gym (and intend to do strenuous exercise), please talk to a trainer beforehand. It isn't worth injuring yourself.

Do you still like the gym, do you think you'll ever want to go back? Awfully expensive membership to keep if you don't use it, anyway.

OMG had that been my DH you would not have seen me for dust! Get your gym kit, go get some 'me' time. You'll probably feel more relaxed and energised afterwards even if you only exercise very, very, gently. Even just having baby free time to re-charge - invaluable. You could spend most of the time in the gym cafe with a latte and a magazine! I actually think it's a really nice thing.

My exH used to come home from work and swerve anything to do with the dc. Note he's my ExH.

Horses for courses. And yes I do remember how knackering it is having a 4mo - I never slept longer than 2.5 hrs for 6 months. But I still would have gone to the gym if offered.

But she doesn't want to go to the gym. That is the end of that conversation.

Her problem isn't that she needs to go to the gym. Her problem is that her H is being an arsehole about her weight when she is four months postpartum. How would going to the gym fix that?

Don't take your gym kit and then sit in a cafe ffs! If you want to go to a cafe then go but don't pretend you're going to the gym because your DH is a knob and is pressurising you to go!

If call him on it, tell him his thinly veiled attempts to get you to drop a few pounds are incredibly rude and are making you feel like shit. If he doesn't stop after that then you have bigger problems.