Feeling all stressed after visiting my parents & need a bit of a rant!

[Allstressedout]

I have changed my name here, as my mum has been known to look me up on MN in the past!
I am feeling a little stressed out after spending the day round my parents & need to get it off my chest!
Basically, mum invited us round for dinner, but asked the boys first (who LOVE going round there), so I couldn't really say no, even though I knew it could well be a stressful experience!
Mum picked us up at mid-day & then went off out from 1pm - 3.30pm. Dad was around, so I wasn't too bothered by this.
I was seeing to the boys when she returned & dad had gone into the kitchen to cut the meat.
She poked her head through the door & had a real go at me because I wasn't in the kitchen helping dad.
I laid the table ready for dinner & helped clean up after though.
Later DS2 bit DS1 & I dealt with it by having stern words with him & sitting him on the step for some time out.
As I positioned him on the step, he rubbed his back on the step above & got a small carpet burn. I felt awful that this had happened, as for a short time he had a slight red mark on his back.
Mum commented that I would have social services after me, which made me feel even worse & then in the next breath was telling me I must not let him get away with biting his brother & that I should bite DS2 as a punishment because this is how she dealt with biting when we were younger!!
I decided to leave soon after this, as I had had enough & I asked DS1 to get his shoes on.
DS didn't want to leave, so he didn't get his shoes on as asked & started wailing.
I told him to do as he was asked & that if we had this everytime we left nanny's house, (I get this a lot) he wouldn't get to visit as often as he does.
My parents then started fussing around him & cuddling him, which made him wail all the louder because he was getting attention.
As I left, I know they were thinking I was a totally awful mum & I felt pretty crap myself.
Home now with both boys happy & in bed, but I am still feeling all wound up & stressed.
Feel free to ignore my waffle - I just needed to get it all off my chest!

Read back on my post & it looks like a load of pathetic nonsence, but my visit has really stressed me.

I presume it was some time ago that you left home - sounds like your mum's still treating you like a kid. I could say don't take it to heart, but it's not as easy as that, is it? Have a glass of wine and stick on your favourite film to try and unwind. Or carry on MNting - great therapy!

buy some ciggarettes... go out side and blow smoke rings.

Every trip to PIL makes me do this, and I dont even smoke...

{{{hug}}}
cup of hot cocoa or a strong brandy?

Oh and I'm sorry, bite your DS2 to teach him a lesson - dear Lord! sorry honey, but what planet would that work on, DS2 would just think that if Mummy can do it, then why cant he... Id bite your mum...

There's more to it than just this visit though, surely. What's at the bottom of this? Your mum doesn't sound very supportive of you. Rather critical in fact. Is that the real problem?
No problem though in waffling on MN. I've done it myself before now....

did you ever expect any different????? you are a good mum just a knackered stressed out mum!!!! should have stuck with gut instinct and stayed clear!!!!! BTW still very obvious!!!!!

Yes there is far more to it than this one visit, peaches. I really didn't want to go today because I knew it would be tough going with constant put downs.
I am going through quite a bit of stress in general atm & am probably letting bits get to me more than usual.

Agree with you about the biting, Emzickle! Couldn't believe she suggested that & said that it was the way she used to deal with such incidents!!
At one point they tried to get me to sit on the naughty step!!!!

At one point today that is!!!

everyone has stress ASO and we all have our own ways of dealing with it! you are doing just fine have a little faith in your self we all have our off days!!!!

Yep there is far more to it than this. You must have a very distinctive posting style.

Of course you are stressed with so much going on atm. Your parents are as mad as snakes and are not behaving like good parents should. If one of your boys was going through what you are going through how would you behave? What would you think of your child?

Measure that against how you are treated, bet they don't compare. No one in your family is making you feel like you are doing a great job in really crap circumstances and that sucks. You are doing really well.

you on the naughty step?????? there would be a queue!!!!

Well, so long as my mum isn't on MN tonight, it doesn't really matter if I am kind of see through!

who cares!!!! not good day then???? lunch with mother always brings stress especially when ex DH invited too!!!!! light at end of tunnel!!!! focus!!!