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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel a bit sick. Mid break up with STBXH. When will it all end FFS?

2 replies

TBHhadEnough · 20/09/2016 17:53

There's been a lot of email ping pong. I can't talk to him. I can't stand him anymore and I feel so guilty. He's a nice enough bloke with a good heart but he's paranoid, needy and just won't listen to me.

We're trying to work out the financials. I kind of get the idea that he thinks the family assets are mostly his. I just emailed him what I want in no uncertain terms, not nasty. Now I'm on tenterhooks wondering how he's going to take it.

I've engaged a solicitor and I know what I'm entitled to but it's so alien to me that I should, well, look after myself. I know I have to look after my kids and to do that, I'll have to fight. I'm just hoping he's not going to be unreasonable or emotionally manipulate me, which he has been doing. We're in separate bedrooms, kids don't know yet. Fuck fuck

When will it all end

OP posts:
Threepineapples · 20/09/2016 17:59

Have you considered mediation? I know it probably sounds like the last thing you want to do but a good mediator could help both of you get to a reasonable settlement without continuing the ping pong and acrimony.

I found it easier to leave the issues in the mediation room rather than them dominating every waking minute.

TBHhadEnough · 20/09/2016 18:04

Thanks Pineapples. That's what we're going to do. I'm just shit at standing up for myself, so that's the best way forward for me. I've just got to be careful I don't fold. He's very good at the emotional manipulation, which is why I won't speak to him in person and I will only email

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