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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

reigniting a flame

13 replies

invisiblecloak · 20/09/2016 13:03

Has anyone ever finished it with a guy after a short time of dating, then got back with him successfully?
if so - after how long did you reach out to him?
what did you do/say to re-ignite?

I finished with a guy I thought wasn't right for me, we dated about a month, but as time has gone on I really miss having him in my life and I don't know whether to re-spark something, its only been two weeks since I broke it off, should I wait a while?

OP posts:
PotatoBread · 20/09/2016 13:04

What's happened in the past two weeks that makes you think he may be right for you now when he wasn't before? Are you sure it's not just a case of you'd rather have him as a stop gap rather than no one?

invisiblecloak · 20/09/2016 13:11

I think I expected too much from the 'relationship' at the time, when in actual fact I realise now it was only early days and I should have only expected something fairly casual at that point. Which is what he was giving me, in hindsight I think I was expecting too much too soon as I should have realised we were still at getting-to-know-you-stage.

OP posts:
Tiggeryoubastard · 20/09/2016 13:13

Reach out, re ignite, re spark. And you wanted too much. You sound very err intense. Frankly you should just leave the poor bloke alone to find someone to have a normal relationship with. And work on your self esteem.

PotatoBread · 20/09/2016 13:15

Do you know if he would like to reignite things OP? This could all be a bit pointless if he has no interest. Has there been any contact from him?

Invisiblecloak · 20/09/2016 13:19

Thanks Tigger, you may be right, but I think I just got caught up in the whole thing because he too was quite intense. My self esteem is honestly fine. The fact is I really liked this one and that may have skewed things a bit, but I rarely get hung up over guys (when the XDH left I waved him bye bye and didn't shed a tear)

OP posts:
BreatheDeep · 20/09/2016 13:20

I did! Married to him now... No one knows your situation so if you think you'll regret not reaching out to him, do it.

Invisiblecloak · 20/09/2016 13:21

No Potato but he may be thinking that I broke it off so its me that doesn't want to go there again. He's also very stubborn/proud. Maybe I should leave it a while longer.

OP posts:
Invisiblecloak · 20/09/2016 13:24

Really Breathe?? Wow I bet you are glad you reached out now! How long before you realised you needed to contact him? How did you reach out to him?

OP posts:
Tiggeryoubastard · 20/09/2016 13:26

Why have you slightly name changed half way through the thread?

Invisiblecloak · 20/09/2016 13:29

I have NC for this thread yes, I think thats allowed, isn't it? Namechanging is not caps sensitive.

OP posts:
Tiggeryoubastard · 20/09/2016 13:39

Just wondered. It's showing as a different user as you're not highlighted in later posts and the only difference I can see is the capital letter.

Invisiblecloak · 20/09/2016 13:47

I have no idea Tigger, the highlighting is the same for me throughout the thread, I have just put a capital letter at the front when I've typed in the name, that is all.

OP posts:
BreatheDeep · 20/09/2016 13:50

It was only a couple of weeks. Slightly different situation as he ended it as he didn't want anything serious and I eventually got back in contact to say I never thought it was serious. So we started seeing each other again. It turns out it was meant to be serious after all!

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