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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please tell me this is innocent

35 replies

GinAndOnIt · 19/09/2016 11:45

In a very happy LTR with DP, not married.

We've just been away for a weekend for a family wedding, which ended in DP talking seriously about marriage in the next two years or so. Great.

In the car on the way home, I was trying to get signal for the maps but it was taking ages, so DP said to use his. As I picked it up, there was a message on the screen from 'Double' and I laughed and said 'oh you've got a message from Double, interesting name!'
He said 'Confused from who? What does it say?' so I read it out. (I was still on the locked page, he has message previews on). Text said something along the lines of 'we've found your perfect match! Click the link to see your DoubleDate (followed by weird link)'
I read it out whilst he was looking utterly flummoxed, and then I got distracted by us going the wrong way so clicked onto maps. I later made a joke about his 'match' and he laughed, but that's all that's been said about it.

Now today, I'm utterly hungover which is when I am most paranoid (I have history of mild MH issues and am also exhausted from weekend which doesn't help), so now I'm panicking. Please tell me it sounds like a scam text? I've googled DoubleDate and a website came up that isn't yet up and running, and gives the option of signing up with an email address for updates.

In no way would I ever question him cheating, so I don't know why this has made me so paranoid. I completely adore that man and this is the first time I've ever had thoughts like this, but I feel like that's how all these cheating threads start.

I know his phone passcode, and he's always leaving his phone lying around, and although I don't look through his phone, he does often say 'oh grab my phone and message X for me' or similar. He also doesn't really sit and use his phone much when he's home, but if we are sat fiddling with our phones, we'll often say 'what you reading?' and then he will normally tilt his phone to me and say 'facebook' and I'll tilt my phone away and say 'mumsnet' Wink

Do you think I need to be raising this with him, or do I really need to let it go? It's just a scam text, isn't it?

OP posts:
Swirlysunshine · 19/09/2016 11:49

Sounds like a scam.

OhFuds · 19/09/2016 11:49

Its probably a scam pop-up, I'm sure if he had anything to hide he wouldn't have asked you to read the message.

OhNoNotMyBaby · 19/09/2016 11:50

It's a scam text.
If he had anything to hide he would not have asked you to read the text.
This is a new start-up company and they have obviously bought (or obtained) an email list from somewhere and are sending out prospecting messages.
Ignore it.

ellyelly247 · 19/09/2016 11:51

It's a scam. Don't worry Smile

CwtchMeQuick · 19/09/2016 11:51

Double is like Tinder but you do it with a friend. Sounds to me like one of his friends has sent an invite to everyone in their address book.

Happybunny19 · 19/09/2016 11:51

It's got to just be a scam text. You say he told you to look at his phone and read the message, he wouldn't if he had something or someone to hide. Stop worrying about this, it's nothing, enjoy thinking about your wonderful sounding weekend instead, sounds like you've got something exciting to plan for soon x

HuskyLover1 · 19/09/2016 11:53

Sounds innocent to me. The first sign of cheating, is being secretive with your phone, not leaving it lying around, being glued to it.

SleepFreeZone · 19/09/2016 11:53

I agree. If he knew anything about it he would have grabbed the phone from you or something. He wouldn't have asked you to read it out!

spangleknickers · 19/09/2016 11:54

99.9% a scam or he wouldn't have looked so perplexed. I get weird texts all the time. Last time it was from 'HMRC' telling me I have a tax refund. How they get our details I have no idea

flanjabelle · 19/09/2016 11:56

He really doesn't sound like he's up to no good. Please forget this op, don't let it ruin what you have.

Whathaveilost · 19/09/2016 11:58

Ive had something simil6pop up on my phone. Seriously nothing to worry about.

Youarenotprepared · 19/09/2016 11:59

Based on his reaction and the nature of it I think scam as well. I wouldn't worry about it.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/09/2016 12:01

I get these occasionally, don't worry about 😄

GinAndOnIt · 19/09/2016 12:02

Oh thank you all. The rational part of me was saying he wouldn't have told me to read it if he had something to hide, but if I hadn't voiced the worry to someone I would've been overthinking it all day.

OP posts:
sophiestew · 19/09/2016 12:10

Honestly it does sound innocent, and I am very suspicious generally Grin

It sounds like those emails you get offering penis enlargements or sex with Russian women who have seen your profile and find you wildly attractive.

Forget it and look forward to planning a wedding sometime soon.

BadTasteFlump · 19/09/2016 12:15

It's innocent IMO - or if it isn't maybe I'm up to something I didn't realise!

I've had emails from 'Double' before; so has DH. Neither of us have dabbled Grin

RattieOfCatan · 19/09/2016 12:15

I've not heard of Double, but I had a spam text from a dating agency/website the other week. Somehow, some marketing bastard has got my number and whilst I'm usually getting "OMGeeee you've won £20billiontrillion!" Or "We can help with your accident/PPI/etc" every day, I did get a dating one the other week, I didn't realise that they sent texts these days but apparently so Confused

HerOtherHalf · 19/09/2016 12:17

I get dozens of emails every week offering me everything from a shag with "a girl near me" to an Eastern European bride that likes my profile. I've never registered with any site remotely connected with online dating, swinging, mail-order brides etc. It's just spam. Never get any texts but I only give my mobile number to close friends and family so it's unlikely to be on spam lists.

BlueLeopard · 19/09/2016 12:20

I'd take it as totally innocent. If he has been signing up to dating sites, no way would he have asked you to look at his phone, and certainly not to read out a message or email that he doesn't immediately recognise.

I think you can breathe easy here OP.

clumsyduck · 19/09/2016 12:22

Did the text reference a username like "hey [insert username] we've found you a match] " or did it seem more general like spam just to get him to click the link.

I keep getting bollocks texts saying Iv won all sorts . No idea were they got my number ! I agree with others im pretty sure it's just spam

Buunychops · 19/09/2016 12:23

I'm as suspicious and cynical as all get out and even I think this is innocent.

My given name is more commonly used as a male name, the amount of penis enlargement/ eastern european bride etc that I get is silly

GinAndOnIt · 19/09/2016 12:27

It didn't reference any names at all.

Feeling a tad silly for asking now Grin

OP posts:
Saracen · 19/09/2016 12:28

It's entirely innocent. He'd be more secretive about his phone if he were up to the sort of no-good you are imagining.

roomonmybroom · 19/09/2016 12:29

Totally innocent IMO, I ge them all the time from Match, I have never been on online dating, nor even visited the website!

clumsyduck · 19/09/2016 12:29

Yeh I honestly think that's just spam then . coupled with the fact he wasn't at all concerned in your having his phone I think it's innocent Smile