Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sleep talking he says it's over

19 replies

lounear35 · 18/09/2016 23:58

Ok so my dh is asleep and in his sleep mutters it's over for a joke I reply what's over and he replies my marriage!!! We've been thru a rocky patch lately with him getting caught looking at soft porn. We don't cuddle anymore and it's been a month since sex... what do I do I'm scared

OP posts:
gamerchick · 19/09/2016 00:09

Ah he's asleep man, you can't hold it against him. He could be subconsciously fearing it or anything.

You need to have an honest conversation with him about your relationship if you're worried.... When he's awake!

amazingtracy · 19/09/2016 01:47

I reversed my car over a bunch of people the other night............according to my nocturnal ramblings.

All a total stream of unconscience shit!

chipmonkey · 19/09/2016 01:53

My son dreamt he shot BIL last week. In real life he wouldn't lift a finger to harm anyone! Maybe your dh dreamt you had run off with that Poldark guy and didn't feel he could compete?

MsStricty · 19/09/2016 03:28

I'd be more interested in what's happening in your relationship when you're awake, OP.

GruochMacAlpin · 19/09/2016 04:03

I talk in my sleep.

I ask my Mum to switch off the light.
I give book reviews of books I haven't read.
I give the children DH a telling off for stuff that hasn't happened.
I have a terrifying recurring dream about giraffes. Awake I'm not the least bit frightened for giraffes.
I shout about Red Indians chasing me. Awake I'd say Native American and I haven't watched a western in about 35 years.

I'm asleep, goodness knows what's happening in my brain but it's nothing to with real life.

Talk to your DH in the morning. Tell him what happened and how frightened you were.

VioletBam · 19/09/2016 04:34

I told DH to "count the cakes! For God's sake! Count the cakes!" in my sleep not long ago.

You can't worry about it OP!

NerrSnerr · 19/09/2016 05:00

He's asleep. I told my husband 'fuck you' in my sleep the other week. I didn't mean anything of the sort because he's lovely.

DeathStare · 19/09/2016 05:06

When we were first together my DP told me to sleep with his (named) friend in his sleep. We still laugh about it now. (We never told the friend!)

whattodowiththepoo · 19/09/2016 05:33

I tried to run over the queen in a dream and apparently talked about corgis, it means nothing.

phillipp · 19/09/2016 07:02

I talk in my sleep. I once asked dh 'so who is it that you are shagging?'

I didn't suspect he was sleeping with someone, it hadn't even entered my head. I have no idea where it came from.

You say you are having bad patch, perhaps he was dreaming about that.

Mines worse if I have a lot in my mind or stressed.

JedRambosteen · 19/09/2016 07:07

How do you know it's you he's breaking up with in his sleep? Could be the OW. Wink Honestly, people dream all sorts of random shit.

Joysmum · 19/09/2016 07:16

What a great opportunity for you. This could be the Carlisle that makes you examine your marriage and allows you both to improve it.

If this had happened in a string marriage you'd have brushed it off and not let it upset you. The fact that you haven't means your marriage can be improved.

flanjabelle · 19/09/2016 07:45

It's more likEly that he is scared of the marriage being over and is working it through in his sleep. I think you need to talk to him op. How frightened you are, and the fact it is playing on his mind like this shows you both care. You need to talk.

TheNaze73 · 19/09/2016 08:24

What was the real issue? Are you seriously holding him to account for sleep talking?? what do you mean getting "caught" watching soft porn. It sounds like a parent child relationship

LellyMcKelly · 19/09/2016 16:41

My daughter told me she liked towels in her sleep a few weeks ago. It doesn't mean anything.

OurBlanche · 19/09/2016 17:14

Having been recentyl grabbed by sleeping DH and told, in a very menacing voice "DSis put that there so YOU.WILL.NOT.TOUCH.IT" I would agree, he may not have meant anything by it. He is asleep... ask him about it. Use it to start a conversation about your lack of intimacy.

Oh, should say, DH and his DSis have not even seen each other for about 16 years and he has no idea what 'that' might have been!

That and, he is often aggressive if woken from a deep sleep, so I usually call his name from the other side of the room. This time I brushed past him asleep on the couch and got grabbed.

And yes, I do appreciate that that sounds odd, but he isn't at all aggressive when awake. It's just one of those things we have adjusted to!

BreatheDeep · 19/09/2016 18:17

I have talked and sleep walked most of my life. Nothing that ever happens to me in a dream is anything like what I'm thinking in real life.

But I think the fact you are concerned about it speaks volumes and you should talk to your husband about the issues you're having. If I heard my husband say that I wouldn't be concerned at all. I'd just joke about it.

Lilacpink40 · 19/09/2016 18:23

For a joke you asked him what was over. Did part of you think it could be a reference to your marriage?

Do you feel that it's over or that it can be saved?

If the latter, take action now as waiting just makes it less likely as the distance between you can grow.

Mikkalina · 19/09/2016 21:51

Are you sure he was asleep and didn't make it sound like he was sleep talking? Otherwise, looks like there's nothing to worry about.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page