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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've left my partner. Keep me strong!

14 replies

acdcfan · 18/09/2016 19:45

I left my partner today, should have done it long ago.

We're both 38 and we were friends for 11+ years before getting together 4 years ago.

We've had numerous problems with him drinking too much, messaging other girls, forgetting I was with him when we were at a gig in Glasgow etc. He doesn't know when to stop drinking and gets into such a state he doesn't know what he's saying or doing.

Luckily, I hadn't moved in with him yet but we were starting to try for a baby and I was moving in with him. This is where I've suddenly had a wake up call.

Anyway, without delving into 4 years of drunken episodes, I left him this afternoon, just packed everything I had at his house and took it home.

Please tell me I've done the right thing and keep my resolve strong Sad

OP posts:
Johno85 · 18/09/2016 19:47

I think you have been very brave and it sounds like you've done the right thing. Stay strong lovely. Trust the decision you have made x

itwillbegrandsure · 18/09/2016 19:50

You have totally done the right thing. He needs to sort himself out before he can begin to be the person you need him to be. Maybe you leaving him will be his wake up call.

Aside from anything, it wouldn't be the ideal environment for a baby. So I think you've def done the right thing.

Chin up hun!

fastdaytears · 18/09/2016 19:52

You've totally done the right thing but it will be hard to keep that resolve.

What is your RL support like?

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 18/09/2016 19:54

I bet it's not too long before you are enjoying your freedom from the stress and your own home again. Good luck.

Squeegle · 18/09/2016 19:54

Yes yes yes. Being a coparent with a drinker is no fun at all. And it's rubbish for the kids. Stay strong. Well done

CrazyDuchess · 18/09/2016 20:07

You've totally done the right thing and deep down you know it Flowers

acdcfan · 18/09/2016 20:36

Thanks guys! Got some real life support in some great friends - it's just I miss him already, I've done the worst part but need to stay strong!

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 18/09/2016 20:38

It's so hard isn't it.

It's helped me before to make a list of the main reasons for ending it, in the strongest terms I could face and carrying that with me to read when I'm wobbling.

acdcfan · 18/09/2016 20:45

Great idea fast I'll have to do that... Meeting friends tomorrow for a few drinks and to offload, they'll stop me drunk-texting him at least!

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 18/09/2016 20:53

It does help!

If you don't have anything you need to be able to contact him for, I'd also block him and delete his number.

Drunken texting is my Achilles heel... Well probably one of many!

leaveittothediva · 18/09/2016 20:58

Good for you. You had a spiritual awakening. Good luck with the next chapter of your life.

acdcfan · 18/09/2016 22:12

I've blocked him on Facebook so I'm not tempted to 'stalk' him, but deleting his number is pointless as I know it off by heart anyway... I omitted to mention in my op that he has a 6 year old boy who I've become quite attached to (his mum isn't around) and I know I'm gonna find NC very difficult

Such a mess Sad

OP posts:
acdcfan · 20/09/2016 17:06

Ffs. He wants to 'talk' - do I go or not???

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 20/09/2016 17:07

NO!

What would you get out of that? He is the same person. You deserve happiness and that is to be found by moving forwards not backeards

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