Missing a dead ex : just need to let off steam

[namechange54321]

It just hit me that my daughter is about to be the age where I met my ex / nemesis
He and I had a relationship built entirely on lust with no trust
it abrasively carried on over many years of me seeing sense elsewhere
he died suddenly a couple of years back aged nearly 50

I cannot explain to anybody in real life how much I miss him
or how much I hope my daughter never meets anybody like him

my husband chose not to come to his funeral
but he's still in my head
and I worry for my daughter - will she make the same mistake ?

You can't live her life for her. You can just be there and I dunno, a tunnel for her to howl into.

There's no reason to think she'll make the same mistake you did - she is not you, and tho we are the products of our upbringing to some extent, yours is not the same as hers.