I think my husband is cheating on me...

[user1474139565]

Okay so today I found a used condom in my husband's car and I don't know what to do.
He said he was going out last night for a work meeting but he wasn't home until around 2am. I asked him how the meeting went and he seemed a bit off.
We've had a happy marriage for 23 years and I dread to think my husband is actually cheating on me.
PLEASE HELP!!! What should i do? I don't want to confront him because I do genuinely love him TIA

This is awful. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but, if you don't want to confront him yet, you've got to get other evidence if you believe he's cheating. You say you love him, but if he's been involved with another woman, he clearly doesn't love you. It's harsh, I know but why the hell would any man leave a used condom in his car. Have you noticed anything else about his behavior, like his mood, or being secretive with his phone. You said he seemed a bit off, in what way?. Please don't bury your head in the sand, it's got to be confronted. I know you are shocked and upset. The others are right, it's looking bad. You deserve the truth.

Wow, BarbaraRoberts, so if someone has sex with someone else, they love you. Well that's very accommodating of you. Include me out on that one. Open marriages are fine for other people, it's just not my thing. I've never cheated on anyone in any of my relationships, I've ended most of them. That's more honest.

I'd bide my time and try and get some more evidence then confront him.

OP this is so horrible for you - I am so sorry

Has it occurred to you that he may be using his car to hook up with prostitutes rather than an affair venue? I know it's an awful thought but my DSIL found the same in my DB's car and it turned out to be from him having sex in his car with prostitutes.

That said, I think that the 'work meeting' was an excuse to meet up with an/the OW and his staying out so late (does he normally do that?) is indicative that he has reached the point of him and her versus you, ie. he doesn't give a damn about your feelings. Please please tread carefully and keep an eye on your bank accounts as you could suddenly find them emptied. It has happened to so many women I know who had long marriages like yours only to find that the man they love has turned into a
monster for whom self-Interest is everything

Has there been any odd behaviour or change in him before you found this. If there's been no change in his routine it could either be a start of an affair or he could have used a escort? Very strange if you thought everything was ok and you were happy.

BarbaraRoberts, I'm not being funny but I came on here in order to try and help the OP, if she finds my post flippant and cruel. She can let me know. It absolutely wasn't my intention. I'm responsible for what I post on here, not for what people understand by it. I feel we should just post our own take on the situation, not scrutinize everyone else's.We will agree to disagree then Barbara. Thanks.