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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

new soul mate has cheated with everyone

29 replies

oliversmummy21 · 16/09/2016 21:54

I've just found out my what id thought soul mate has told me he's cheated on every gf and wife! Am I just delaying the inevitable? I'm so disturbed after getting with him after an affair and I've got a sixteen month old with ex.....mind is fuck ed xxxxx

OP posts:
northbynorthwesty · 16/09/2016 21:58

Only time will tell

QueenLizIII · 16/09/2016 21:58

One of my ex bfs had cheated on everyone. Then I was next.

He has now been with someone for 18months or so. I feel it is a matter of time.

Past behaviour is the best indicator of future.

SoleBizzz · 16/09/2016 21:59

If she/he cheats with you he/she cheats on you.

QueenLizIII · 16/09/2016 22:02

Also....why tell you that? So you arent surprised when he does it to you.

Allalonenow · 16/09/2016 22:05

When they tell you who and what they are.... believe them!

ALaughAMinute · 16/09/2016 22:06

You're delaying the inevitable. He's a cheater. He's not your soul mate. Get rid.

wtffgs · 16/09/2016 22:15

He is telling you how he intends for it to be. Listen to him and then show him the door.

That soulmate thing is a load of, bollocks, you know? There are a fair few men out there you could have a decent relationship with. Your current wanker boyfriend is not one of them Brew

OiWithThePoodlesAlready · 16/09/2016 22:17

Well he doesn't sound like a very nice man, does he?

MephistoMarley · 16/09/2016 22:19

Lol yeah of course he's going to cheat on you! He's an alley cat with no morals. Relationships that start as cheating are characterised by doubt and lack of trust as a rule.

hoddtastic · 16/09/2016 22:20

i have been in many relationships and been faithful in none of them (including engagements/cohabitations.)

I am ten years into this relationship and haven't - i can't say i never would but leopards can change their spots.

aLeopardanditsSpots · 16/09/2016 22:21

Did he cheat with you?
I wouldn't say once a cheat always a cheat for one offs but a patterns tend to repeat themselves.
My ex has cheated on all the women he's been with. He's now with the 22 year old he cheated on me with. Matter of time I reckon.

DavidWainwrightsFeet · 16/09/2016 22:21

Did you think your ex was your soulmate at the time? Unfortunately that combination of lust and romance is not necessarily an infallible guide to who will be a good long term pick.

BombadierFritz · 16/09/2016 22:23

he told you this for a reason. its not so you trust him. its so he can say 'but I told you who I was'
soul mate talk is pretty innocent naive talk. he has seen you coming. just get rid.

GinBunny · 16/09/2016 22:34

My ex dropped that one in to conversation a few times over the years. He's just left me for a 25 year old. Listen to him, he is telling you what he is.

user1471552005 · 16/09/2016 22:38

Were you the mistress OP?

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 16/09/2016 22:47

It might be jumping the gun a bit to refer to him as your 'soul mate'. Do you tend to get invested very early on?

Thingvellir · 16/09/2016 22:47

So he was cheating on someone when he started an affair with you? Can see why the realisation he's a cheating bastard is a head fuck to be frank. He's clearly a twat but hasn't exactly hidden it has he?...

doji · 16/09/2016 22:53

Why did he cheat on them all? Unless he's actually shown some serious self-awareness and worked on whatever issues he has that led him to cheat, then yes, he'll cheat on you too. He hasn't just made a couple of mistakes, he has a consistent pattern.

ALaughAMinute · 16/09/2016 22:57

It's amazing how you can see the signs early on. Sometimes they are obvious (as in your case) and sometimes they are more subtle but they are almost always there. At least you know OP.

GDarling · 16/09/2016 22:58

We humans, mostly women I might add, have some trigger missing in their brains.
Why, Oh why, can't people see when they are being treated wrong?
Why do they put up with crap that makes them so unhappy?
Why don't they listen to others who are trying to help?
What makes them keep going back for more?
We need to put self preservation on the school curriculum!
I'm dumbfounded at what I read on here sometimes...
Please leave him now, go find yourself a gorgeous real man, who is all yours, it might take a while, but do choose carefully.

UnderseaPineapple · 16/09/2016 23:03

I'm assuming you left your now ex for him.

You have three options.

1, stay with him and hope you can be the one to change him. (Tip, you won't.)

2, Throw yourself at the mercy of your ex and ask him to take you back. (Bad idea, this. He'll never forgive you and he'll be awful to you for the rest of the relationship).

3, Get rid of boyfriend, go it as a single parent and sort yourself out before embarking on a new relationship with someone who loves you dearly and respects you. You owe yourself and your child this. (This is the best option).

QueenLizIII · 16/09/2016 23:03

My ex admitted cheating but didnt seem remorseful at all. Big red flag I overlooked.

Waltermittythesequel · 16/09/2016 23:12

What's that saying about marrying mistresses and creating vacancies??

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 16/09/2016 23:41

Soulmate. Don't be so daft. That's a sure sign that he "tailors" himself to appear to be the exact person you need right now. He's good with the ladies you see.

If he has told you he always cheats then that's a pretty solid message that he is getting ready to do it to you soon "You knew what I was like".

AmeliaJack · 16/09/2016 23:54

He's told you:

He's not someone you can trust.
He is a dishonest
He is deceitful
He is prepared to risk his partners' health.

Think carefully about bringing this person into your child's life.

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