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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm not going to explain myself

4 replies

Wrinklesandspotstoo · 13/09/2016 20:49

Is that the catch phrase of the guilty? I don't think my husband is having an affair. I mean I don't think... But from what I read on here you can never tell! Our sex live has gone down hill over the last few months right about the time he's started working so hard? Or maybe it has because he works so hard? I just asked him why he no longer makes time to speak to me while he's away and has not jumped at the chance of me coming to spend the night in his works hotel when he used to... Amongst other things and he says he does not need to explain himself to me. Hurts a bit. On the other side I've had a heavy cold for 2 weeks and am feeling a bit sorry for myself! Anyway my question.... If your gut is telling you something but your head disagrees then from experience which is usually right?

OP posts:
sorryoldwoman · 13/09/2016 20:54

My gut I listen too. Try being more observant of him. Does he steer clear of showing affection? Smile at him for not reason...does he smile back? It's the little things we noticed that men don't see as telling.

OrianaBanana · 13/09/2016 20:55

I'd go with the gut. And also I'd say that husbands (and wives) need to keep open communication rather than shutting it down. Not wanting to discuss things is a red flag (unless you've been over and over the same thing and he's given you a reasonable explanation). Flowers

Wrinklesandspotstoo · 13/09/2016 21:01

im not even sure which is saying what (gut or head) I think he's just working hard but he snipes at me when I ask! I'd just feel such a fool if ignored what all the other women on here who have been cheated on in hindsight say are the warning signs!

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 13/09/2016 21:08

You're his wife. You're supposed to be the person he wants to explain things to.

If my instincts have ever told me something isn't right, I've always regretted not listening to them. You know what your marriage is normally like and if things have changed, it's only natural that you'll want to know why.

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