Hello I have NC for this. 2 and a half years ago my partner of 12 years left us. We had two little children. I just fell apart. There have been several OW. This latest one came after a reconciliation which failed, although they were in touch before we reconciled. Its absolutely killed me. I know its for real this time he isnt coming home and I admit I have begged and been very pathetic. The problem is he taunts me about her and the way she gets on with our children. Ive been suicidal over it and he has still been sleeping with me. He knows I wont tell his gf. Im very ashamed at doing the Pick Me dance. I spend my nights crying and boring my friends to tears about this. I have read everything I can and been taking antidepressants and referred for counselling. Its the contact I find so very difficcult. It is our daughters birthday next week and he has said he was bringing his GF and her kid with him and I burst into tears. My only thought is I should take the children and move away. I am fine in every other area of my life but he makes me a miserable wreck of a person and I cannot seem to break the cycle. I am addicted to him. My daughters are beautiful and doing brilliantly but I am worried about my cycle of behaviour impacting on them. I am desperate.