BF won't touch me intimately during sex. **TMI WARNING**

[slightlypreoccupied]

I can't post this on the sex area as have namechanged to post it! This is about sex though so fair warning.

Fairly new BF. wonderful in every other respect, he is caring, kind and generous. Treats me exceptionally well. Clearly fancies me like mad BUT I have noticed he never touches me intimately during sex. He has done once but nothing otherwise. It is starting to bother me. Sex is wonderful otherwise, we are at it for hours and he can come multiple times. I get the impression he isn't particularly experienced in bed but I don't know as he won't discuss previous experiences. He is very sensitive himself and half the time I'm not sure if he actually likes what I do to him or not!
Last night I was at his. We couldn't have sex due to period but obviously there is lots more ways to have fun! We were busy for TWO hours and he didn't touch me below once. I was desperate and in the end did it myself. I did ask him and he was of course fine with it but it is leaving me a bit unsettled that he wouldn't play with me himself.

I know I need to talk to him but he would be horrified if he thought I wasn't enjoying myself in bed. He says it has never been as good as this for him before. I am ashamed to say I have faked orgasms while having sex though. I feel awful. Opinions on why he doesn't want to touch me?!

I can't post this in sex as have namechanged.

I have the same problem only I give him oral sex on average at least 9 times a week . He won't touch me except to put it in and pump away . While he sure knows how to use that thing a woman needs stimulated it has been two years . I was single for 8 years after my husband died and he is the first man I have been with since . You would think that in the 2 years I would be able to talk to him about it . Nope I'm chicken . I tried once and he just looked straight ahead and ignored me . Ever since. I have been going crazy being really turned on constantly and never getting relief. Girl talk to him now don't let it get as bad as I have cause it ain't fun

Come on OP, women don't have to throw themselves under the bus to cater for mens fragile sense of ego. Why fake 'for him' or wait around for hours while he uses your body as a receptacle to get himself off . Of course it's the best he's had, he does next to nothing, gets to feel amazing, has all his needs catered to. Not healthy, normal, romantic decent sex though is it.

He's rubbish in bed, he obviously knows it would be the done thing to pleasure you, clearly he lacks the desire to, is selfish, or more likely will dish out some nonsense about lacking the confidence in bed. It's his responsibility to work on that, not yours to cater to it at your own expense or put up with it because you fancy him. There is a dynamic already set where his feelings trump yours and you are pandering to him wanting to keep him happy and that's red flag. As is the fact you can't have honest conversations.

If you aren't even being touched or pleasured and he displays zero interest in that, you are being used no? He is attracted to you but has zero interest in your body sexually- doesn't check out OP. Part of the appeal is presumably the constant sexual attention he gets where he gets to do what he wants to you, without being queried. I bet the 'rubbish' sex he's had before are because women have pointed it out and it's rattled his fragile ego.

Sounds to me like he suffers from premature ejaculation. I once had a FWB who could come within seconds of foreplay. It was only after a frank conversation that he admitted he did indeed suffer from PE. When I gave him lots of reassurance and understanding he was so much better. He was able to control himself. He would direct me not to touch him at certain times. He trusted me to accept this in order that he could concentrate on me. From then onwards he was so much better. He didn’t have a problem with intimacy though.

This thread is from 2016 guys...