If you had suspicions your DH was cheating

[StillAgainstTheWind]

If you had suspicions your DH was cheating and he denied it and you had no proof what was the outcome?

Did you get your marriage back on track or did it permanently change it. Did you believe your DH when he denied it or did you know deep down he was lying but just didn't have proof.

When you confronted him and he denied did you consider it the end of the matter or did you try and get proof.

How did it affect you mentally?

The reason I'm asking is because a colleague and friend told me the other day his wife had suspicions he was cheating.

He'd been friendly with me - nothing more - and had stopped chatting to me so I eventually asked him if I'd upset him. He told me he'd been having an affair and his wife had got suspicious. He ended it with the OW but lied to his wife and said he hadn't been cheating.

I have met his wife a number of times and see her around every so often and I feel bloody awkward. I keep thinking how tormented she must be and I wish he hadn't told me.

This all happened a good few months ago and he says it's settled down now. But I'm wondering if it's settled down for her hence my post. Thanks.

Many thanks Pocket I appreciate it. Sounds totally soul destroying. I remember you posting about your ex and I'm sorry you went through it. Struggling to think of reasons, beyond my own selfish ones, not to tell her.

Rosie I agree it would be a lot better place. I'm veering that way. Thanks.

Mamaka thank you I appreciate your comments. I was shocked when he told me. I thought better of him and I am angry he involved me in it as he's put me in a position I don't want to be in.

My thinking by not having proof was he would still deny it to her. If he didn't come clean when she voiced her suspicions I don't feel he would then admit it because I told her he admitted to me he'd had an affair. It would seem weird to me in her shoes. However if I do say I guess I've done all I can and the rest is up to her.

In this circumstance I think corroboration of her suspicions from an outside source would be enough. He had no reason to tell you that if it was untrue.

Lying and AF I respect both your views on here even if I don't always agree with them.

However, you are both way off the mark. As I have already stated I am not the OW or any OW nor am I having an emotional affair with my colleague. I am not trying to make anything 'real'

Again as I have already stated seeing what my friend went through and is still going through as a result of her STBXH cheating on her means the consequences of cheating affect me more than they would have done before.

I find it rather sad that it seems you can't have compassion and care for somebody without people thinking you have an ulterior and disingenuous motive.

As I said I do normally respect both your views but your comments on this thread are insulting.

StillAgainstTheWind... You post about affairs - and only about affairs and OW - a lot.

I think your posts about this colleague are bogus and I hope that other posters do not post their experiences to you. Your thread yesterday was almost identical but asked about what their marriage would be like...

I don't believe a word that you're saying and I won't post again, I've said what I think.