I actually dont know where to start.
Been together 4 and a half years. At first it was truly amazing, he was the best partner and I actually felt like the luckiest person alive.
I discovered early on that he dabbled in cocaine when out with the lads and I didnt really like this, I admit I was full on at wanting him to stop and gave him a lot of aggro about it. He developed a cocaine addiction and started using daily and this continued for over a year (lies/arguements/money problems) and he decided to leave me fathers day 2015.
He had a crazy summer of sleeping around, doing drugs and general partying before he hit rock bottom and came of the drugs and I am so proud of him for doing so. We were in contact and I was heartbroken and eventually he came back.
Since we have been back together I have found out numerous times he has been joining tinder and messaging other girls or messaging girls on social media. He left me for one of the girls but came back 3 weeks later, Id love to go into full details but the post would be too long.
Everytime I find out I am in floods of tears and he says he does it because of many reasons.. he craves the excitement, I dont talk to him properly, I am not there emotionally and he is bored.
I really try to be there, we are both skint so cant get out much and I think this is a problem. Sex used to be great but he calls me fat in virtually every argument and now its affecting me, the other day I had to stop him after 5 minutes because I was so panicked about my belly being out. I do wonder if my weight is the reason why he cheats and texts these other girls but when we arent arguing he says its not and he loves and fancies me.
We had an amazing day last sunday and then I found out he that when i was asleep he was texting 2 girls at 3am, he will lay on all compliments to them and say hes single, it really makes me feel sick. He promised never again but then yesterday I came home and asked to use his phone to make a call and he started being all cagey with it. Obviously then I wanted to see it more and a hge row followed where he blamed me and said i never show no trust and I was like a smack head wanting his phone. I knew then he had messaged someone so I persisted and finally he admitted he had downloaded tinder while i was out and exchanged numbers with a girl. Apparently he needs someone to talk to and he wont
meet with them because he truly loves and want me.
I just wanted to see if there was anyone who had been through a similar situation with any advise? I know its hard for him at the minute, we are skint and living on my income only and hes very down because he is out of work, he had an interview the other day and was rejected which must be soul destroying but this is killing me too. I really love him and cling to those early first years.
I wish i could understand fully why he does this. He seems to blame me all the time although he admits what he does is wrong.