My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Meme on fb - how true do you think it is?

37 replies

PopFizz · 08/09/2016 19:51

It was posted by a site with "man's world" or similar in its name, for domestic abuse awareness month

Just didn't sit right with me, not the 53% bit, I'm well aware men are abused, but the "70% initiated by women?"

Meme on fb - how true do you think it is?
OP posts:
Report
user1471439240 · 08/09/2016 21:53

Be honest, have you ever laid a hand on your bloke. Even once?

Report
ShirleyKnotReboot · 08/09/2016 21:58

No user1471439240 I have never been violent to someone in my life.

Report
Soubriquet · 08/09/2016 22:01

Be honest, have you ever laid a hand on your bloke. Even once?

Yes. But it was abusive. We was messing around. He does it too. If one of us gets hurt which is rare, we immediately back off and apologise

Report
Soubriquet · 08/09/2016 22:01

Wasn't *

Report
MorrisZapp · 08/09/2016 22:06

I'm not homophobic. The vast majority of violence is committed by men. So when men are victims of abuse by a partner, statistically it's much more likely to be a same sex partner.

I know lots of anecdotal stuff too but that's not data as we say on here.

Report
UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 08/09/2016 22:11

It's bollocks. MRA bollocks, I'm afraid.

Men are victims of dv, but far less so than women. There are a lot of fake stats out there. Reliable research shows women victims are far more likely to be hospitalised, far more likely to be killed, and actually less likely to call the police than men victims. It is not true that men report it less - in fact women are more likely to suffer repeat attacks and less likely to call the police.

Males are overwhelmingly the perpetrators of dv, both in heterosexual and same-sex relationships.

Report
ChakieJan · 12/02/2017 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MadMags · 12/02/2017 19:47

Well, their stats are a load of bollox.

But the "initiated by women" part is particularly grotesque.

It's just "she started it" or "she antagonised him" or "she was asking for it", isn't it?

Report
UnbornMortificado · 12/02/2017 19:49

Men are raped by women all the time

Hmm

Report
PushingThru · 12/02/2017 19:49

Rubbish. Go and find their sources & you'll see how flimsy they are.

Report
HarmlessChap · 12/02/2017 20:48

I doubt that meme is anywhere near true but I reckon the vast amount of physical violence by women on men goes unreported and often not seen as abuse.

My 1st real GF was a county swimmer, so strong and powerful, she would get angry, particularly when she was hormonal, and would lash out physically. With a background in martial arts I was easily able to block most of the hits and roll with what got through, on a few occasions I had to pin her down and restrain her, as otherwise she would either end up hurting me or I would have to hit her back. At no point did I see that as abuse but I do wonder how she has fared with her temper in subsequent relationships.

I've seen many women slap their partner, one hit hers with a riding crop and when he complained she told him maybe it will teach him..... None of this was treated as abuse. The only guy I know who did report it didn't even do so after his DW threw a pot of boiling pasta at him, fortunately he was at the doorway and stepped aside out of the way but it was on target to where he had been. He finally reported it when she hit, scratched and gauged her nails into his chest him in front of his children from previous marriage.

Not only that but female on male violence is still often treated as reasonably humorous when I see it on social media. Joke/comments like in bed with husband and he was snoring so I kicked him and he woke up. A bit later I kicked him again, he woke up and said "was I snoring again?" "I said, no it just felt so good the 1st time" widely liked and a meme showing a man with a bloody nose and a comment saying "when my wife orgasms she always punches me in the face, I wouldn't mind but I've found out she's faking them" has been liked and shared by so many of my female friends who see themselves as liberal feminists.

Report
ArchNotImpudent · 12/02/2017 20:56

53% of victims are men but 70% of violence is initiated by women?
So there is a 17% of women that are victims but somehow accused of initiating violence?
I dont get it

It is confusing. Could they possibly be including female/female incidents in that statistic? I'm not suggesting this with any knowledge at all, just trying to make sense of the statistic.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.