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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm 99.9% sure he's giving his brother money

5 replies

skyyequake · 08/09/2016 18:45

DP has just had a phone call from his DB and he's told me that he's going to meet him at the supermarket close by so they can talk
Would seem fairly innocuous but I know his DB would simply show up here if he needed to talk (he's been going through some hard times recently) and they would sit out in the garden if he didn't want me to hear (which I completely respect and understand)
The only reason they would have gone to the supermarket is for the cash point and I can also tell when DP is lying because he sucks at it! I wouldn't mind this either except his DB is already over £800 in debt to us... We're not well off, DP is on NMW job, we're in a council flat and we are currently saving to buy a car. I've also mentioned starting to save for christmas so we don't end up totally skint like we usually do in january which he agreed with
There is a whole backstory of relationship issues with us but the fact that he's lying to me (which has only started since his DB started borrowing money) is really pissing me off... The one thing I could rely on him for was looking after money, as he's usually much more frugal than me, and now he's lying about it and giving stuff away
Of course I could be totally wrong and they really are having a chat, but this isn't the first time he's lied about lending him money, and I just have a feeling in my gut
(and it's not an affair as I definitely heard his DBs voice on the other end of the phone at one point)
I think I just need a hand hold tbh

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 08/09/2016 18:50

Didn't you say something before he went out? I would have suggested he left his card at home.

Joysmum · 08/09/2016 18:54

This couldn't happen in my relationship. We don't have a shared account. Disposable income is equal and lives in our own personal accounts.

When I subsidised family members, it came from my spending power. DH wasn't affected and it was my choice to make.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 08/09/2016 18:55

Tell him his dB needs to make a payment plan to start paying the debt into your bank account or your family will be doing without this Xmas and that's not acceptable.

rollonthesummer · 08/09/2016 18:59

Do you say something as he left the house? I presume you said something like-'remember, your brother owes us £800-for x's sakes don't give him any money!'

Yes?

skyyequake · 08/09/2016 19:05

We don't have a joint bank account but he is the sole earner as I am a SAHM (DD is 1)
I would have said something but we had this very conversation last night and I really don't want to be accused of nagging/calling him a liar again

OP posts:
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