What happens financially after the LTB instruction has been carried out?

[AGenie]

Hi,

I've been reading the LTB threads a lot here and on AIBU. I keep wishing that there was more financial advice on here for those women who unavoidably do have to walk away from their marriages and take on the responsibility of parenting alone.

It seems as though there are a lot of people on here who have left their partners and still manage to pay their bills, and care for their children.

I wondered if they would consider talking a little about how they manage financially and with the huge workload of raising a child alone?

I don't know much about child maintenance payment or housing benefit or any of that kind of thing, but I can imagine that for those women who are considering following the advice on this thread and becoming single again, it would be hugely helpful to have concrete financial advice from those who have gone down that route before.

Would anyone consider chipping in with advice from their own experience?

Thanks for thinking about it!

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my question OP. When I first read your post I felt that you were being very critical of others posters on this site. Reading your latest post I can see that that was not your intention and I'd misunderstood you.

I've been better off and happier since I LTB.

Although previously there were two (low) wages coming in plus tax credits, and now less comes in, I am able to manage my money without him pissing it away. I'm not stressed about money, because I am in control of it and I know how much I have and how to budget.

I do everything around the house and garden, but that's better because I don't feel resentful when things don't get done, I prioritise what is important to me and I'm not waiting on someone else to get around to it.

The dc have coped well with the change and as I was always the one who did things with them and taken responsibility little has changed at home - when he has them at weekends, he's doing his best instead of defaulting and leaving it to me.

I'm happier and more confident without him, which means I'm more competent and motivated. So leaving the bastard was absolutely the right thing and I will continue to recommend it to women who are struggling living with men who grind their self-esteem under.

Sorry red. I have pretty crappy diplomatic skills but I'm very nosey about stuff, so I often ask questions and end up with my feet firmly in my mouth. I'm trying so hard here not to put my foot in it, but very aware that there's ever such a lot of risk of that.

I grew up in quite a poor area and I know a lot of the girls at school used to say that if a relationship failed then it was important to chuck the bloke out and change the locks as that went better with the courts somehow.

It used to make me feel so sad for all of the people in these situations, as I so much wished that the relationships could be healed. I always wondered if the relationships would have survived if there had been more money coming into these families. I can imagine that the stress of living on very little money must make small relationship problems quite quickly into big ones.

That's partly why I was so surprised when the initial posts talked about having lots of money and still having relationships breakup. I suppose I just haven't really known people with lots of money before.

A man once said to me "Money doesn't make life that much easier. Rich people still get ill, they still die, they still get divorced, and their kids still don't excel at school."

I suppose he's right that the relationships of rich people still break up, but I would have thought it would be a heck of a lot less unpleasant if they family are not living in a bedsit and getting food from a food bank.

Category yes I understand just what you mean. Thank you for explaining that. It's really wonderful to hear people coming back from these breakups and saying that they are basically okay and happy and settled. The LTB threads are so sad and worrying, many of them. I love to hear that you are happy and okay now.