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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship with older guy, will it work?

29 replies

Movingonwards · 05/09/2016 13:49

There is a guy from work, there has been some flirting going on between us for a while until I found out he was in a relationship, he then split from his girlfriend a few weeks back and moved back to his mums, it was along time coming, gf was abusive and so on. Last week I asked him out for a drink, not really a date as it wasn't just the 2 of us, he stayed at mines, we kissed nothing more, yet. I can't get him out my head and I know that he's keen too.

I'm 24, have 3 kids, my partner (kids father) passed away. He is 48 with 1 child, he is only 2 years younger than my parents and my parents know him too. I've never had a relationship with anyone older than me, they have always been the same age. I don't know whither to see how things go between us or to cut it off before we get emotionally attached, I'm scared because even though I do really like him, what if when we start to get into a proper relationship and I then freak because of the age difference and hurt him or the other way about.

Just looking for some experiences from people who have maybe been in a relationship with a big age gap or know people who are??

Should I go for it or run for the hills ???? Help!!!!

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 05/09/2016 19:58

The fact he was flirting with you whilst in a relationship would put me off far more than the age difference.

I'll be honest that I'm not keen on that either, but ugh to him flirting with you - no matter how abusive this girlfriend is (and I'm Hmm) at that anyway as it isn't necessarily true - he should have ended that before flirting with you.

So even without the age gap he'd be flashing at least Amber for me!

catlover97 · 05/09/2016 20:02

I really don't think your main concern should be the age gap. If it's right then age doesn't(to a degree) matter. What you should be considering in this situation is whether this man is right for you (and you him) right now and in yours and your children's future. Take time and don't rush that decision.
FWIW I've been friends with DH 15 years, together 12, v happy...and he's 22 years older...so I'm not judgypants but wanted to point out it's worth considering your options before jumping in. FlowersSmile

Movingonwards · 05/09/2016 22:53

Thanks for the replies, I was at work and we spoke for 5 minutes, we are going to go out on Saturday to watch the old firm game, we are both season ticket holders for the same football club which I guess is something we have in common and has been one of the things that got us talking a lot, I am going to take on board what some of you are saying about just taking it really slowly and seeing what happens and as a few have said about the flirting whilst in a relationship has played on my mind a little. Justaboy you are right in saying that about death can happen at any age really, my partner had a tragic accident at work which caused his death it totally turned mine and the kids world upside down, life was perfect we had been together since we were 15 but I'm finally starting to feel as if I'm coping better although I'll never get over it.

OP posts:
lemonzest123 · 06/09/2016 00:16

My DP is 47 Im 29. We adore eachother and its the best relationship Ive ever had. If itnfeels right, Id give it a try xx

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