Hi, really need some advice ! Ive been in a relaionship with my partner for just over a year now, although we have known each other for over 20 years through our childrens school. I was in quite a controlling reltionship before that for over 14 years. I have never been so happy, we have a very loving and happy relationship except later hit a couple of bumps, one of which i havent yet told him about ! Before he met me he hadnt had a longterm relationship for 14 years or been with anyone for 7 years. One evening we were talking and the subject of past history came up since ive been with him he talked quite alot about a woman at work, no problem, im not a jealous person ? I have met this woman at his birthday party with her husband and had given her a lift home one evening, i suddenly said to him, was it that woman who he had had an affair with 7 years ago , he was divorced, she was married at the time. He said it was, i was very angry, not that he had a past but that he hadnt told me when i had met her ! Reasonable or not i dont know ? Anyway he is retiring soon and having a big family, friends and work colleagues party, i told him that i would not feel comfortable if she was attending as i felt now part of their secret, he tried to comfort me, as i was upset, because i felt silly, hurt and duped ? He said he would never cheat on me anyway. he has no secrets Well, call it women's intuition, i looked on his messages on his ipad on saturday, ive never done it before, he had left it unlocked, i know his code anyway, and there was a message on there, from another colleague, different department, asking about his retirement do. He had given her the details, then went on to say dress code - low cut ! She went on to say" ok "he said "he would look once" she said "not much point then" he said "you know you want to" she said "ok i will" he said "great decision making skills" To say im upset is an understatement, that is why i am awake at this ungodly hour. I will have to confront him about it as that is the type of person i am. Am i doing the right thing ? Help ! X