I have been single for about 2 years after a couple of abusive relationships. I have been single very much through choice although had a few fuck buddy situations that I ended when they developed feelings for me.
I decided to date again but ended up with someone very manipulative, controlling, borderline abusive. I had a thread here and people basically said they were terrified for me.
Well I ended it with him but went back a couple of times ( he is hugely attractive and we have amazing chemistry in the bedroom) but he was never able to get his grip back on me completely. I never let my guard down again and didn't let him in. This bothered him hugely as he is used to sweeping in with declarations of love and women being devastated when he leaves again. His dramatic ending of our relationship literally didn't bother me and I just said good bye and shut the door.
Anyway I can see why he thinks I am cold. I admit that I am cold. I am fiercely independent and don't let my guard down or feelings develop. Not just with him, with anyone. Even my long term relationships didn't particularly bother me when they ended.
But he has said and I quote.
You are the coldest woman I have ever met. If you don't learn to let people in your looks will fade and you will be a lonely old cat woman.
Now I don't want a relationship at all and especially not with this man. I am quiet happy on my own, But will there come a point that I will regret not settling down? Will I get old and undesirable and wish I had snagged a man sooner.
Is being cold and heartless really protecting myself or is it just putting off the hurt to be felt in another way further down the line when I regret not letting someone in? (Not him of course, he is a horrible man and wouldn't ever pursue a relationship with him)
I am 30 and I assume reasonably attractive , I don't have any trouble attracting a fuck buddy when I want one so don't get lonely now.