Ok this may be long so thanks in advance.
At the start of the summer I met a guy. Younger. We had a v intense connection and a wonderful date. Constant messaging. V romantic and made me feel v happy.
He left to work abroad for 2 months. We kept in contact but it dwindled and the sexual element stopped on his part. He said as we weren't exclusive he was seeing girls and felt bad being that way with me. I thought ok. Bit odd but whatever.
Still had v strong feelings for him weirdly. Thought about him all summer.
At certain points he would write and say he wanted it to be like it was with us. In crisis points emotionally he sounded sad. I was supportive and gave advice. He then would drift off and cut off sexually again.
I felt v confused really.
He is now back and after friendly messages I put to him why it just wasn't the same with us. He admitted he thought we were just friends now and he met someone long distance he is still with but wanted to be friends.
I felt v hurt and rejected and I told him so. He promised things to me etc. It was upsetting and I said I could possibly stay friends.
Then he writes again last week in a mess. He is going through a difficulty which he needed help for and I was again there over the phone and gave him advice for it. I felt sorry for him and I couldn't just not answer. He needed my help and was distraught. He is still with this gf. This was over the weekend and it really affected me. I told him things I'd never told anyone and likewise.
The thing is I'm not sure I can continue this friendship. It hurts me not to have him romantically and we are just messaging. For someone not interested romantically he writes almost every day and I like the message conversations. But it's hurting me. He'll say - but we're friends! I feel I'm just keeping the friendship because one day he may turn around and want me again like he did.
I don't know what to do. If I ignore his messages I look like I can't be friends and rude but I want to tell him in a brief way it's hurtful to talk to him like this with none of the romance we had. But I don't want to be too gushy and dramatic.
I've never really been in this situation before. I feel deeply about this guy and it hurts.
What advice do you all have?