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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do men talk about holidays??

11 replies

MrsRamone8 · 01/02/2007 20:07

I've not been with my partner that long but last year we were (or should I say "I was") looking into going abroad. DP said he wanted to go away too so I said we should get some brochures...he never made any effort to get any so I got picked some up from the travel agents, I asked him where he wanted to go and everytime I got the same responce "they're all hilly with palm tree's and white buildings so anywhere, they're all the same" I spent alot of time going through the brochure looking for something that would suit all of us, whenever I tried to show DP he wasn't interested and was more interested in the TV. After a more heated discussion he agreed to come to the travel agents with me to get a quote for Majorca, as we went in he noticed that Dixons (next door) were having a sale...he said "you go in and find someone to talk to about a quote, I'll be with you in a few minutes" so I went in, tried to waste some time looking around and there was still no sign of him after 15 minutes and people were starting to look at me funny so I asked to see someone about a quote, 5 minutes later I got sat down at a desk and asked where I wanted to go etc...still no sign of DP. Half an hour past, I got my quote and headed outside where DP was heading towards the travel agents with a Dixons bag, the first thing he said to me was not "how did it go" but "hey, I managed to get an xbox 360 for under £300 with games etc!". I ignored him and said "well, I got the quote.." and he just sort of looked at his bag and uttered "oh? what did they say?" he was blatently not interested.

So when we got home I told him about the quote and went to show him the hotel in the brochure, he was busy setting up the xbox and said he'd look later but he never did . So I forgot about it, booked a week away in London for me and the kids and didnt invite him. He went in a massive strop saying it would've been nice to be asked, I told him why he wasnt.

We split up shortly afterwards.

We were on the verge of getting back together when he told me he'd got some good quotes for the Canaries, I asked him if he wanted to come to the travel agents with me (again) and he said he would. So anyway we got to the travel agents and on the spare of the moment I booked a holiday to Ibiza for all of us, DP said he would pay half towards it. The travel agent gave us the brochure with the hotel etc in and we went home.

Now here is my problem, DP has not once looked at the brochure (again), he doesnt speak about the holiday and when I mention it he usually replies with something stupid trying to be funny and then changes the subject.

My friend said all men are like this, they prefer to book and forget...is this right?? it would be so nice to have a proper discussion with him over it, surely that's not expecting too much is it??

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 01/02/2007 20:10

I don't think it's a gender thing. My dh wants to plan and discuss holidays endlessly - but I am not really bothered. I tend to go along with his suggestions. He gets irritated with me too!

What's the issue? There are bigger issues in relationships imo

hub2dee · 01/02/2007 20:11

I can understand your frustration, but I don't get excited about a holiday until either it's time to pack / we're at the airport / on the airplane / disembarking !

This might well be a man thing I'm afraid.

hub2dee · 01/02/2007 20:13

handleme - you and me should book a holiday, LOL. Convo:

"Where shall we go then"

"Anywhere"

"You don't mind"

"Nah"

"OK, Let's go to Bleugh"

"Whatever"

"We better pack, the taxi'll be here in 1/2 hour"

handlemecarefully · 01/02/2007 20:18

lol - it would be hopeless but would save rather a lot of money

holidaymum · 01/02/2007 20:20

Deffo not a gender thing, I'm a travel agent and I'd say half the bookers are male, in fact done a couple of nice valentines bookings today as surprises.

I'd say he's either not into the holiday or he genuinely is just leaving it up to you, good luck!

hub2dee · 01/02/2007 20:22

And we'd still have a good time - once we were there.

I bet neither of us can be ar$ed to read a guidebook once at our destination either.

"Where shall we go now we're here in Bleugh ?"

"I don't mind... what's there to do ?"

"I dunno"

"I think I'll just have a lie-in then"

handlemecarefully · 01/02/2007 20:25

As long as there is beer on tap!

hub2dee · 01/02/2007 20:33

Well, I don't drink, so this is potentially a problem... but maybe if there's free WiFi we can work something out ?

LOL.

handlemecarefully · 01/02/2007 20:34

lol - you sound like a most ammeanable non-holiday companion

catsmother · 01/02/2007 20:41

In my past experience some men (and maybe some women too for all I know) regard holidays with a girlfriend as a bit of a rite of passage - like it's an indication that things are getting serious. And so therefore, holiday talk scares them, and they try to avoid it.

I'm not sure if that applies in your case - you would have expected him to go running for the hills when you booked the trip to Ibiza.

Wintersun · 01/02/2007 22:03

Neither dh or sisters dh have ever paid the slightest interest in holidays. They love them when they're there but are not interested in the talking about them or the arranging of them.
Dh has never been interested in the airline, hotel or destination. 'You decide' has always been his attitude.
Sis and I always thought it was gender thing.

If that is your biggest issue in the relationship, I woudn't worry about it.
I wouldn't have thought it would warrant a split. I would guess there must be other more serious issues here.

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