Using the phrase 'I want you to....'

[lullabyfornow]

Dh habitually uses the phrase 'I want you to..' or ' what i want you to do is...' when 'asking' me to do things. This commanding tone really annoys me and when I ask him to say 'please' he gets very upset and can start swearing. I resent this, particularly when he should be setting a good example to dd, now 8 months old. Maybe it's a cultural thing, do you always say 'can you do this, please?' with dp or is it acceptable in your relationship to say 'do this', am I being too middle class?

"I want you to..."

Silly chap, how on earth is that going to work? It isn't even a question!

I have to confess to, on occasion, using the old "you need to.... because " with dh.

Sometimes he cottons on and says "don't use your bloody sales tricks on me!"

if its in front of children i want them to learn by example so i use my Ps & Qs and try to remeber to ask in a nice manner.

When they are not around i find use any form of communication that comes to mind. Feck-ing do to, can you, will you, ow go on for me?

you command a dog, ask an adult and encourage a child.

Yesterday in the doctors a nice old chap was quite chatty and said to reception staff as he was going, "thank you for your help, good evening"

A singular "bye" came the response. didnt even make eye contact.

"I want does not get"!

Totally agree with op about setting a good example to your child by asking "please may I have or please could you.."

Or a brisk "Do you indeed. And I want you to use the word 'please'".