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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

im beraking up with dp even though it hurts...

5 replies

daisey · 01/02/2007 00:25

we have a ds who's 2. Im 26 years old and im so scared of being on my own-of telling my family because they will try and talk me out of it.I feel a failure. I feel like im letting my ds down. I care for dp and i dont want to leave but im so unhappy his family have come between us and i cant take no more.

I feel he's let me down because hes never stood up to them. The damge theyve caused has never been repaired and on top of that other things come along and cause problems. He says he will try but i feel its its too little too late.He always manages to make a bad situation worse. For eg i put weight on after ds i felt really ugly and unattractive dp knew how i felt and said he understood and would try to help me feel better. We werent having sex because of it and it was horrible i openly admitted to dp how i felt.Anyhow i thought perhaps if i dressed up sexy i would feel better-i brought some flattering underwear that was sexy but hide my lumps and bumps i had it all planned for sat night. I wanted to work at it. Then when i was on the net ds was pressing loadsa stuff and files came up it was all porn-it has been downloaded pretty much a few days after i had a talk with him. The thing is he knew how porn made me feel insecure anyhow before all this. So why did he do it. I feel like im always trying to mend our relationship and hes trying to break it. We didnt just split because of this but i hope you get the jist.

I feel really hurt by him because he deosnt seem to be the person i thought he was. He wasnt the best looking guy but when we were dating he treated me like a pricess he was romantic and he respected me. He promised me a good life with him. Its like he always said until i say i dont love him he will never give up well i havent said i dont love him but hes given up yet hes just been crying down the phone. He just doesnt try anymore and he lets things get to rock bottom before he does.

OP posts:
JillybeansNW · 01/02/2007 01:20

daisey - so sorry hun. You look after yourself {{{{{hugs}}}}}. You are not a failure, just look after yourself, and your DS.

jabberwocky · 01/02/2007 01:27

I'm so sorry. Is it too late for counseling?

Bucketsofdynomite · 01/02/2007 13:27

That's really sad.
Have you tried writing all this down for him? Gives him one last chance to digest the message in his own time and do something. What would make you happy, what you think would make him happy - ask him if you're right, what cannot be tolerated etc.

divastrop · 01/02/2007 20:11

some men dont know what they've got till its gone but sadly by then its often too late.

didisaythat · 01/02/2007 21:58

You are taking a brave and strong step. Either it is what he needs to really change, or your life will be better without him. It does hurt, but it will get better - just like childbirth really! Stay strong.

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