I've name changed because I have family on here.
I've not told anyone yet but my OH has left. He is my best friend and SD to my DS.
I'm going to be totally honest with you, I'm shit at being in a relationship. My social etiquette is 'pathetic' and I struggle to control my negative emotions. I have struggled with MH problems for many years but l never see these as an excuse..just reasons I suppose. I am short and rude and have no shame in telling him what I think in public.
We own a home together, definitely bought too early in to the relationship but as we had known each other for 15 years we didn't think too much about it.
Ultimately we both have the same goals in life. He's an amazing parental figure to my son and if I do no wrong them it's rare he does..it's more of a retaliation.
I know i fucked us up..I warned him at the beginning I would, I tried to explain exactly what I am like and he said he could handle it. Not that it's an excuse or much consolation.
I don't have any friends or family I could speak to so now I'm left with a 5 year old trying to bring normality to him. When he is speaking about OH I am answering almost in riddles. He knows I'm upset though because he has gifted me one of his teddies and reminds me/brings it to Me whan I'm feeling excessively down.
Now I don't know what to do. I lived and supported my son before him but it was a pretty shitty life compared to what he has become accustomed to but there's no way I can afford to keep it up without OH.
My son is going to break his heart when he knows he Ian coming back.
I know I've caused this and I have ruined the best thing that could have happened to us. I'm so used to living an abusive life and now he's calling me the abused.
I really need someone to HH right now. I have no one else.
Thank you for reading.