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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I end this?

34 replies

Patheticfallacy · 28/08/2016 08:39

It's taken a bit of courage to post this, because I'm afraid of the answers. I've been with my boyfriend 16 months. He's always been a practical person rather than particularly emotional, but he told me he loved me after six months. For a while we had something really very special. He gradually has become more distant. He stopped saying I love you. Stopped contacting me as much. No more passionate kisses. Sex life still ok, but not as frequent. He went through a rough time where he was worried about access arrangements with his son and he became very withdrawn and possibly a bit depressed. I asked him about his feelings and he said he thinks he loves me. He's changed and isn't the emotional person he was before. But he doesn't know he loves me.
What confuses me further is that this man has gone out every night after work this week, driving around picking up furniture he's found for me. He spent all day yesterday doing DIY for me. He is redesigning my dds room so that each girl has their own space. So I don't know what to do. He acts like he loves me in practical ways, but emotionally he is closed and distant.

OP posts:
Patheticfallacy · 28/08/2016 12:01

We have just ended it. He admitted he didn't love me

OP posts:
ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam · 28/08/2016 12:05

Sorry OP. Take care of yourself. You deserve better than this for sure. Best wishes.

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam · 28/08/2016 12:07

Ps he found some balls at last Hmm fool that he is.

Bagina · 28/08/2016 12:09

So sorry to hear that, but well done for tackling it.

queenoftheladybirds · 28/08/2016 12:18

Hope you're ok OP
I went through something similar. The constant guessing is exhausting. Like someone else said, it gives him power doesn't it.
Be kind to yourself & try to look at the positives Brew

Patheticfallacy · 28/08/2016 12:30

Thank you. I'll be ok. He's still finishing the diy he started anyway. Bit gutted but heigh ho.

OP posts:
Kasia87 · 28/08/2016 13:05

We're with you, I think that was a good decision. Duh re: the guy though he seriously has so little emotionality in him to just calmly carry on with the project :-/ But yeah I guess that helps you out x

Patheticfallacy · 28/08/2016 13:10

Yes I think he switched off a long time ago. I might try and stay friends

OP posts:
orangeistheonlyfruit · 29/08/2016 13:05
Flowers
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