Ok here goes, I'm new here, like others I've always followed posts but now I feel I really need some advice!
I will keep this as short as I can but that's not easy.
My fiancé runs his own company, my best friend lost her job, I offered her a position within said company and I offered to look after her 3 children whilst she worked.
We supplied her with one of our work cars to use not only for work but for personal use as well as her hubby worked abroad a lot and frequently took the car leaving her without one.
Autumn last year I was feeling something wasn't quite right, I checked his phone and found some texts sent between them (I want to lie with you and lick you all over) I flew down the office and confronted them both, I also spoke with her husband who turned up too.
They both denied anything had happened and said it was just a laugh between work colleagues and they all did it as a joke bla bla bla.
We went off on a pre planned holiday within a few days, my fiancé went the whole week treating me like his princess telling me how much he loved me and our 3 children and that he would never do that to us.
Now fast forward to 8 weeks ago, me still convinced that something happened back then.
We are on a night time flight with the children, I receive a phone all from her husband stating that I was right! She had admitted it late the night before after a few drinks, she was in love with my fiancé! They had been sleeping together a couple of times a month at work! Sneaking off to any random public place to do it. Anal. Oral, normal, you name it, they did it! He looked at me and said its true and I'm so so sorry, I love it you n want to spend my life with you!
So, I spent two weeks abroad going completely insane trying to act normal for the children, it was hell! But it was also kinda a good thing as it stopped me walking out!
He's constantly apologising, telling me how stupid he's been, he doesn't know why he did it as its me he wants and always has been, I know we had drifted apart a bit but I never expected this!
The ow has moved back to her home town, he has block d her number, email etc so no contact has been made.
It turns out the affair added a couple of months ago when she confessed her love for him n he finished it saying he realised what an idiot he had been n that it was me he was in love with, so, I think she told her hubby for revenge, to make me leave and try to get him for herself.
He's trying so very hard with me, he's told me everything, admitted everything, he's told me that he completely understands if I want to leave but it would kill him if I did.
We have been back off holiday a good few weeks now, the relationship has been amazing and he wants to plan the wedding for next spring.
I love him more than anything, he will be my second husband as the last one cheated, I left. I never thought it possible to be so hurt, so angry and hate someone yet love them so much at the same time!
He hates himself for hurting me and hates himself because he has no reason for doing what he did. He said he feels sick at the thought of it n wishes he knew why he did it as he didn't even fancy her.
Is there anyone else who has been through this and survived or am I clutching at straws? It was just sex, he never took her out, had feelings etc.
I'm 40 this year, we have 3 wonderful children, house, cars, company, employees etc. I really don't want to give her the satisfaction of me walking away! I want to marry him and move on, accept that we drifted apart, me working all hours, selfishly loving my job and being at work, him in a rut, same stuff day in day out. Can this work?