living I spoke to him last night & he definitely wants another baby. We have always talked about having a smaller age gap because we are both only children so we want them to have that special sibling relationship (I know it doesn't always work out that way but in an ideal world).
anna I do seek out non-sexual intimacy but it always feels like he shrugs me off. We never have passionate kissss, we kiss good morning & goodnight but it feels like it's just going through the motions & not really loving. We don't really cuddle either. It sounds bad doesn't it 
I know I need to try harder but when it feels like a one way street it's hard to not begrudge things!
Mama that's what I dread long term. Sounds so tough, does your DH just say his lack of drive is because of tiredness? I just don't understand why it can go from being so good, to nothing! Which makes me doubt myself like 'well maybe it wasn't good in the first place so that's why he's not arsed'. I can't seem to pinpoint the actual issue, he just seems to make excuses all the time but maybe it's not 'masculine' to admit there is one 
I really don't know. Sometimes I've tried to touch him & make it clear I'm in the mood but he'll just make a joke out of it & ignore it then I feel embarrassed. I think we need another long chat, I don't have a massively high sex drive anyway I'd be happier with once a week but it currently feels like we're flat mates not husband and wife!
pixie I definitely think you're right. I do need to eat better & exercise as I know I will feel better in myself if I lost weight. When he met me I was around this weight, then I lost 4 stone, now after having a baby I'm back up (with added stretch marks) so I know how to do it, it's just hard when I'm tired & feeling a bit low anyway. You're so right though for my own self esteem I need to do something.
Hedda yeah I've decided that's what I'm going to do. I don't think the pressure is helping matters, it just seems to be making him more distant. I just want to have a normal sex life again & see what happens. I'm throwing away my ovulation kits as they're making me anxious too! I don't think he would go down the counselling route as he's had quite intensive counselling in the past (precious MH problems/breakdown before we met) but I can suggest it. I really do think it could help although I might also struggle to open up but it's worth a try. I don't think there is another woman, I don't think it's a porn addiction, etc (as my previous Google searches 
have suggested) because he isn't into porn. I genuinely think he has no libido but don't know if it's me or maybe he is just genuinely tired? Maybe that's it & im reading too much into it. But then I'm tired too but I still want it, DS is sleeping in his cot 7-7 pretty much every night now so whilst it's tiring during the day we have pretty uninterrupted sleep!
carol yes that could be right, I've tried telling him that just because that happened it doesn't mean the same will happen again. He just seems to want another baby so much, he loves DS so much he even had tears in his eyes when we were talking about how far he's come & how the newborn stage is so amazing. Maybe he wants another baby but not for me to give birth! (I did say he didn't need to be present next time but he said he would want to be there )
I think the crux of it is, I need to talk to him again. I will try, I feel like a broken record at the moment but maybe I'm being too aggressive in my approach & not empathetic. I struggle not to get annoyed though as he seems to give politician answers to everything & I really need him to open up more. Will suggest counselling & if not, who knows? I guess another DC is off the cards for now & that's probably for the best while we're like this (even though I am so broody, I'm best off losing weight first anyway).
That was LONG so I applaud you for even reading!