I'll try to keep this short because the way I feel I could go on forever!
Salient Points:
DH suffers Major Depressive Disorder, hasn't lived at home for several months. In treatment and appears to have made recent breakthru.
Due to DH's illness and ex-gf nastiness haven't seen skids for several months.
Mother's 70th b'day tomorrow, family lunch planned for Sunday along with step-father.
DH has asked to visit this weekend with the skids. I mentioned the lunch but encouraged him to come altho he was a bit apprehensive at first.
Texted mother to say DH and sds1 & sds2 would be here at weekend so would it be ok to come to lunch.
Upshot is no, apparently it's not ok for the skids to join us. Mother says stepfather wants it to be "just us" and would be okay if it was just DH.
I can't believe how insensitive they are being. I wonder how my sfather would have felt had I been excluded from something as a child?
Mother is due here later for a couple of days (she does 2 days cm for me). It's her b'day tomorrow and I barely feel like getting her a card at present.
How on earth do I tell dh that he can't come? Am anxious that he will just say he won't come for weekend at all as all too much stress etc.
I know where I'd rather be on Sunday and of course the atmosphere will be dreadful now.
I appreciate what my sfather does for me and my bro and our kids etc but you know it's always at a price. He's always been very attention seeking and controlling.
I'm sure money has some factor here, they always insist on paying for everything. Hardly ever will they graciously accept us paying for something. They're the same with friends, then they complain that their friends never pay!!!
All this has brought up all my old issues with my sfather. His rules about how to sit at the table and how to speak and it drives me nuts.
I aked him once who said "such and such" in terms of table manners and he said "the Victorians" to which I repled and who says they were bloody right!
I also hate the way he bullies my niece, have told mother if he ever treats my dd that way he can forget seeing her.
GRRR, this is so stressful. DH is making progress and I am so excited about this weekend and now I'm being put in such a difficult situation............
Please any advice on how to calm down, how to tell dh and how to communicate extreme disapointment with parents AND how to be pleasant to parents on Sunday....... and even later today when mother arrives as really don't want to see her right now!!