Guy I'm seeing is turning weird :(

[amypie86]

I've been on 6 dates with a guy off tinder and he's lovely, but I'm getting concerned about him being needy. He texts me all day every day, none stop. He's started phoning me on his breaks at work, phoning me when he finishes work and inviting me out to do something most days (I don't accept all these invites).

When he phones me he doesn't really have anything to say, and I feel like I'm constantly having to try and stop it being awkward. He's very shy and didn't even kiss me until the 5th date. He's been texting me about how he 'really really likes me'.

When I don't answer the phone or when I say I'm too busy to meet him he will start sending me sad faces and complaining about how bored he is and just wants to see me. It's really starting to suffocate me.

I feel terrible because I can tell he's a genuinely nice person, and I've been screwed over so many times that I'm telling myself I should be happy someone seems to genuinely like me.

What would you do?

Bell end.

Dump him. (I'd offer more but it's all been said above)

Ugh. No. I'd end it pronto.

Run. He's gonna lock you in a box under the floorboards.

He's bored, that's all. Just have a chat with him, give him a bit of reassurance and let him know you won't be so available for the next few weeks as you focus a bit on X.

Run, run now.

If he is this clingy now it is not going to get better if the relationship progresses. Imagine living with him, you would have to tell him where you are going and why every time you move let alone leave the house!

Red thing is, being bored with your life is not an attractive quality in a partner.

I remember back in the 90s TV shows and books would have us believe this sort of thing was a bit 'sweet' and just showed how very into you he was.

But it's not. Those 'sweet' 90s boys grew into men who refused to allow you out without them ("Who are you meeting? Why won't you take me? You're a whore.") or demanded to know what you're doing every second of the day ("You didn't reply to my text. Are you cheating?") or that thread where the husband followed his wife from room to room, even staring at her in the bath in case she, I don't know, climbed out of the window to shag the window-cleaner.

It's a form of control. It's saying "You only need me, me and no one else, and there'll never be any time for anything else, and if you do/see/read/eat/partake in anything that isn't me then it means you don't love me and I will yell at you for being evil, you will cry and beg forgiveness and slowly I will make you think this is all totally normal but at least, like a traumatised caged animal, you won't have the courage to escape."

90s "needy boyfriend cliché" grew into 00s Abusive Dickface. The cliché died. People would see those characters and think 'ew, controlling' and 'ew, desperate' and even the most clueless, naive youth knows such behaviour is out of order. To continue to do it anyway? Run for the hills - and tell him why.

I know Blue I agree.

I feel a bit embarrassed reading this thread 'cos I've been a bit bored at work in the past and moaned to friends and boyfriend and sent texts with nothing to say...

What kind of an adult gets 'bored' anyway? Utterly dull & puerile.

All I can say s that my ex was like this.

He did then start to try to control me. That's when I dumped him.

The bit that would bother me is him complaining about being bored. It's not your job to keep him entertained. He sounds like a yawn.

Jesus wept! Just get rid of him now. Tell him you don't feel you're compatible and then block/delete.