The man I'm in a relationship with (or rather was -.we're currently on a break since this came to light to think things over, which may become a permanent split) is addicted to porn. He acknowledges that it's a problem, has been reading some books on the subject and will shortly start counselling.
I am very much a Cool Girl (if you've seen or read Gone Girl you'll get what I mean). I've always said I had no issue with porn, I knew he watched it. I assumed he meant occasionally. Where was the harm I thought? He spends a fair bit of time on his phone/ laptop when I'm with him, and when I'm not. Again, I never asked questions or pried. And his job involves a lot of computer usage, so why would I be suspicious?
Turns out it was much more than occasionally, and has been part of his life for decades. Sometimes he said he would view it several times a week, others maybe once, but always at least that often.
There were no other red flags I don't think. He's always been pretty consistent re sex in our relationship (but his porn use was well established long before we met), and has always been very respectful in bed - and generally. I've had a fair few other sexual partners, he's virtually the only one who never expected constant bjs, and always wanted me to be satisfied (which again in my experience put him in the minority) and never did or asked for any of the porn type stuff other men expressed a preference for. So unless I missed something, I really didn't know this would happen.
He wants to stop using porn entirely, and has said that whilst he completely sees how he's betrayed my trust, he wants to try and earn it back, and hopes that we can rebuild our relationship.
Would I be a fool to consider it? Can he get over this addiction?