DP and I have had a big row tonight and I could use a bit of honest perspective on whether I'm right to stand my ground or whether I'm being a difficult old cow.
I've changed a few details here but the gist is the same...
We had a tradesperson around today - small job, DH had arranged the appointment and left me with basic instructions. Something along the lines of "make sure he doesn't use x material, make sure he uses y material". So I asked DP whether he had spoken to the tradie about the consequences of using y material rather than x material and he said something vague like "oh he should have some in his van".... and then left in a hurry.
Tradie came and did his thing, letting me know that using material Y was likely to be invoiced higher (by quite a bit- think in region of £100 on a £400 total original bill). But having been given specific instructions on this I said OK go ahead....
So I passed the news of the extra cost on to DP when he got back and he slightly lost the plot, got pretty cross with me, said I should have negotiated, stomping off up the stairs saying "bloody GREAT" etc etc etc.
Face like a slapped arse, decided he was in too petulant bad a mood to go to the gym now, etc etc etc.
Am I unreasonable in thinking this wasn't anything much to do with me and he should have either sorted this in advance with the tradie or left more specific instructions for me ....? Or in fact arranged to be home himself FFS.
I told him exactly what I thought of his bad temper and now we haven't spoken all evening :(
This is not a one off: there've been similar incidents in the past.
It's the sheer bad moodiness and stropping I can't bear.
For balance I should say that I am not the sort of person to take strops and bad moods lying down and I certainly do rise to the bait. Not of the view that I should just wait till he has calmed down and then try and talk rationally to him. So maybe I do make things worse by having a go in response ....
Interested in what others would do when faced with this sort of thing on a regular basis. Starting to think I can no longer be arsed with this, but we have three small children which makes things difficult....