Going back to ex

[Aveiam]

I'm really struggling and want to go back to my ex. It just feels easier, like I won't be worried about what's next, when there's a predictability with him and I just don't want to be by myself. I feel like it's a stupid thing to do because he can be completely vile but then I think what have I got now that's better than being with him? I know it will take one slip up for him to get back in to my life and he keeps calling and calling and I think I don't really have any willpower left to stay away. I don't know why I'm writing this, but I guess I want to hear opinions. I don't know :(

Please get some support around you. You sound so lost, but your life is so much worse with him in it, you know that. Maybe your gp could refer you for counselling, give you some medication to help you cope.

Talk to domestic abuse services and get some help blocking him from approaching you at all. Change your number, your email, block him on social media, consider legal action to stop him contacting you.

Call your local womens Aid service. They will help and support you in every way.

You need this help now. I understand why you think it's the only option to go back to him but it really isn't. You need the experts around you now.

My heart goes out to you. Take care, sweetheart

I'm just worthless completely worthless

That's what he has made you believe. It's not the truth.

What were you like before you met him?

I have no idea. I can't remember me before him and now I'm just feeling so dark. I need him to tell me what to do

Please don't answer if you don't want to but I'm wondering about your daughter's death - that must be such a big factor in how you're feeling now.

You do know what's going to happen without him. You will wake. Get up. Drink a cup of tea or coffee. A glass of water, whatever. You will put one foot infront of the other and walk. Keep doing that. Take baby steps, they said to me. One at a time. You will function if you focus on the small things. You write and express yourself well, so keep doing that - here - or in a journal. Nothing needs to be decided now, so do the everyday things for the moment and bide your time. Women's Aid are there for people like you and I. Ring them. They will comfort you and give you practical help when you are ready.

He ha hurt me again

I feel sick and tired and it feels like a complete dead end with No good outcome for anything

He hurt you today ?
It sounds as if you feel it's somehow right for him to hurt you. NO IT ISNT. You don't deserve this and you don't need it.

Is he with you?

Have you called your local Womens Aid ?

Please call. It is easier to get through to your local office than the national 0808 2000 247 helpline. They will help you.

Part of the effects of domestic/controlling abuse is that we often become addicted to our abusers. It's the reason the withdrawals can be so awful. We become addicted because abusers wrap us up in gossimer so we can't think for ourselves. It's all the work of the abuser.

Please call Womens Aid dear one. They will help and support you every step of the way

He does not have the power to overpower you. You may feel you have run and run to get away from him but that he always finds you. What he is doing is a criminal offence and he can be put away for it. You need to get the right people onside so you are safe and can heal.

He is NOT all-powerful. He just thinks you are his property and is prepared to go to extraordinary lengths to prove it. You need the weight of the law on your side. He is not stronger than the law.

Have you reported the assault today? xx

You can try the national 0808 2000 247 helpline overnight - you will have a better chance of getting through at night.

YOu can also call the police to say you fear for your safety, that he has hurt you (again). Tell them it is domestic abuse/coercive control. Tell them the story xx