what would you feel?? AIBU?

[nappyrat]

Partner has always been extremely career focused. Sometimes it feels like at the expense of all things...!
Typical week: long-haul travel mon-fri or if not that then 2-3 evening given to work , back fri night. Fair bit email over w:e.

It's been ok whilst we've been dating but sometimes now I'm starting to tire of it.

The problem is my feelings on the issue oscillate WILDLY. From 'it's fine, I like to have some time on my own / with friends' to 'he's never bloody here, what's the point in being together'

I genuinely don't feel like I feel one or the other mainly, or a middle ground.

He earns extremely well, and is great in many other ways. But I worry I'll become increasingly resentful of him being away so much if we bite the bullet & move in.

Wwyd?! Thanks!

Ok I have an idea. Write down no holds barred what your ideal relationship would really look like...

Either here ( best ) or in private. And then compare it to the one you actually have. How much does it fulfill those criteria?

Good idea DD...will attempt

"Get yourself a life he'd like to join".

That is a very naive thing to say to a woman with DC and partner who works long hours.

Most parents feel that DC benefit from regular parental time and attention. If one parent (almost always the man) works long hours/away and will not change this, and likely is the higher earner, the mother will likely find it very difficult to succeed in WoH and care for the DC and have very little time to do things she enjoys.

And if a man has always prioritised work, work mates, whatever, over his partner and DC why would he suddenly be tempted to spend more time with his wife by her charming independence or sexy undies or whatever?

Got it in one dozer