DH and I have been together 15 years and have one child.
I was sexually abused as a child and as a result find sex repulsive. DH knew I had these issues before we married. I have always been open about the fact I have a very low/non-existent sex drive and have tried to ensure he knows it's not him, it's always been the case with previous boyfriends too.
However, things are getting more and more difficult. He seems obsessed by sex. We have to sleep in separate beds as he can't keep his hands off me. He touches me up in his sleep (although I suspect he's actually awake some of the times). I can hear him in the spare room talking to himself/to me, begging me to come into his bed. He's a very tactile person and I'm not - I feel smothered.
He is a wonderful father and I love him so so much - I hate the thought of us not growing old together but I wonder if I'm being cruel by remaining with him. I've given him the option to spit up many times, or even to sleep with someone else if he wants but he says he doesn't want to. He gets very obsessive about the thought I'm cheating on him. This is despite the fact I've made it so clear that I'm just not interested in sex.
We can't go on like this can we?
If we split, we will lose everything - our house, the stability for our child. Also, we genuinely do love each other...we just have opposite sex drives.
I just don't know what to do. I'm scared I'm going to kill him with the stress of no sex but I can't bring myself to have sex when I don't want to - that's just like being abused all over again.
Should I be cruel to be kind and leave him?