Hi
I'm going through a tough time with my parents at the moment and would appreciate advice on how to speak to them.
I moved to Australia over two years ago which neither of my parents were happy about, it was always a temporary travelling that got extended and extended. My mother especially was constantly asking me when I was coming home, saying comments like "Am I that bad of a mother you want to stay away, everyone else's children are settling down at home - when are you going to do this?" Any discussions about my plans were always met with a silence and digs like "well your life is one big holiday unlike us in the real world".
Last year my father was diagnosed with cancer, I immediately went home for 5 weeks to be there to support them during his surgery and after care. He recently has to have more treatment and this has also come at the same time that I have decided to stay in Australia for my future (Career and relationship)
Obviously telling my parents this news at this time was always going to be a tough conversation, but I've been hit back with so much anger and venom from my mother I'm stunned.
Her emotional blackmail has been so intense with calling me selfish and shameful that I'm choosing to live abroad at a time like this. Asking me to change my life and come home right now otherwise I would regret it later on (if anything happened to my father it would be on my head).
She won't take my calls, wont accept my apologies for giving her news she doesn't want. She's involved my younger sister who has now "disowned" me and they are both sending me pure hate and now the complete silent treatment (this is a classic move from my mother).
I've decided to not try and contact them until they've calmed down, but I feel like I'm dammed if I do and dammed if I don't. I want to be there to support them through this, but she's made it clear that unless I move home there's nothing that I can do and she won't be happy until I do.
Am I being entirely selfish by focusing on building my own life or should I just move back home to support my family, I feel so conflicted.
Any advice on the situation would be such a help.
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Emotional guilt trips from my mother, ill father.
9 replies
jessie1990 · 11/08/2016 02:45
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