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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help my friends man is s cheat

12 replies

Babyblueeyes92 · 09/08/2016 10:09

I really don't know what to do and I'm not sure posting here Is the right thing either but I'm worried about her.
Her and her man were together four years then split for 2..
They have been back together a year and a half.
He has just told her he thinks he caught a sti from another girl while they were on a break. Over a year and a half ago.
He has apparently just realised and asked them both to get checked
He has apparently had no symptoms.
Does this not sound suspicious to you?
I think he's cheated but she listens to all his lies.
He talks to her Like crap only bothers with her one day a week.
She doesn't know her worth Sad
How do I help?
Do you think hes has cheated or am I jumping the gun?

OP posts:
HowToChooseAUserName · 09/08/2016 10:29

Impossible to say.

It is possible for men to have symptomless STDs for over a year eg. chlamydia. But it raises the question of how exactly he found out. It's possible the on-a-break-girl had a test, discovered it and did the right thing to let him know. On the other hand it could mean he is still seeing the on-a-break-girl which is how she came to tell him. Or it could mean he's cheating, had a ONS who then told him she has an STD.

I don't think you can definitely say he has cheated until you know the nature of the STD (which is probably none of your business) and how he found out (which is also none of your business).

You sound v. over invested in your "friend" unless this is actually a coded post about yourself....

Babyblueeyes92 · 09/08/2016 10:45

Not about me no.. I'm pregnant and no sti.
Of course I'm overly concerned.
She isy closest friend i don't want to see her hurt.
She came to me so kind of made it my business, I can't just ignore it.
They think chlamydia. So it's possible to have symptoms for a year and not know?
Im really doubting of that because she would have has symptoms aswell.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 09/08/2016 11:30

Why are you so interested? Do you like him yourself?

Babyblueeyes92 · 09/08/2016 11:38

Wow

OP posts:
Creatureofthenight · 09/08/2016 11:41

Quite apart from the fact that he doesn't sound like a great catch - yes both men and women can have chlamydia but show no symptoms.

HowToChooseAUserName · 10/08/2016 12:29

They think chlamydia. So it's possible to have symptoms for a year and not know?

YES! This is one of the reasons women having unprotected sex should have regular STD tests because it is symptomless but left unchecked can cause serious infection and infertility. I thought everyone knew that and it was drummed into women via sex education.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chlamydia/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Iamthinking · 10/08/2016 12:41

Why are you so interested? Do you like him yourself?

Where am I???? I thought I was on a web forum for grown ups...but I seem to have slipped over to some particularly spiteful teen site.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 10/08/2016 12:49

Normally Naze comes out with stuff I agree with. Really don't know where that comment came from.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 10/08/2016 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loobyloo1234 · 10/08/2016 13:41

Why are you so interested? Do you like him yourself?

FFS - helpful advice there Confused

He may just have been undiagnosed OP? Symptoms do not always show up as quickly as you would think?

Do you have any other reason to suspect he may be cheating?

SandyY2K · 10/08/2016 20:18

Why are people so damn rude here?

If you can't help just move on.

Wouldn't anyone be concerned about a friend who has a horrible BF? My word.

I don't believe him TBH. I'd think she'd have also noticed something after a year and a half.

It's very sad that people tolerate being treated like a piece of s**t from so called boyfriends.

She should ask questions about the STD and it's dormancy at the clinic or you can look online.

SandyY2K · 10/08/2016 20:22

He has just told her he thinks he caught a sti from another girl while they were on a break.

What makes him think this? Has the girl contacted him?

He has apparently just realised and asked them both to get checked

How do you suddenly just realise with no symptoms? It doesn't make sense.

When the story doesn't make sense, I assume it's a great mystery or a lie.

This time I'm going with the latter.

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