So, after a massive blow up a few weeks ago, I've pretty much decided that I want to be on my own. At least a trial first. This is after a lifetime of verbal abuse, anger issues and selfishness. I'm just not sure about the timing. I feel differently about him, about being alone, and about my DCs future. He is now seeing a counsellor and is trying to not lose his temper and is being really caring and helpful. Like more than he has ever been. It's almost as if he has read my diary where I set out (for my own self-therapy) all the reasons I wanted us to separate.
I'm struggling to feel the love and affection he is giving me, it's more like annoying pawing. Why can't I give him a chance? I've detached from our relationship. He feels like a friend not a partner.
How do I deal with his new helpfulness around the house and with DC? Really confused right now. I was all set to build a new life, getting my head around what our finances and contact arrangements might be. I just haven't shared this with him yet. Now he thinks with the counseling that we are ok, and that we will stay together. Maybe we will. I don't know what I want anymore.