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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

made the right choice, haven't I?just looking for reassurance

6 replies

Eey0reandp00bear2 · 06/08/2016 08:27

I have been with someone for just over two years, when we first started seeing each other he was getting himself together and attending aa meetings. Now, two years later he is drinking again, still has no job and isn't actively looking, just seems content to do nothing other than go out on the money he gets in benefits - of which some I am sure he is no longer entitled to. In those two years I have retrained and have a job that fits in with my children, I am supporting myself and my dcs:) I have decided the relationship is no longer for me - I have done the right thing haven't I? I accept we all have different ideas on life and make our own choices and I respect others choices. I know it's right for me and my dcs, I am just looking for reassurance as I like the man - can't see us working long term, he has had time to get himself together and has chosen not to, I feel like such a snobBlush

OP posts:
attsca · 06/08/2016 08:32

Yes, you are doing the right thing, the wrong thing would be to just carry on. Not sure when being sensible became snobbish though, who put that thought in your head?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 06/08/2016 08:33

Yes you have done the right thing here by deciding that this relationship is no longer for you.

You were with an alcoholic. He has always put alcohol before everything and everyone else - and continues to do so.

Cary2012 · 06/08/2016 08:36

Absolutely done the right thing.

Getit · 06/08/2016 08:38

Absolutely!

Eey0reandp00bear2 · 06/08/2016 08:58

Thank you:) just wish it were different and he got himself together properly - never mind, onwards!!

OP posts:
theansweris42 · 06/08/2016 09:40

Just another voice to add to the chorus -you have done the right thing for you and DC. I think I know what you mean about snobbish, as my background isn't a place I ever wanted to stay and sometimes getting out and staying out has been a fight.

but it's okay to develop and change and not stay in the same roles as those around us.

It's not a judgement of them, just a really positive choice to change for YOU and your children. They make their own choices.

Good luck.

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